One thing that I do enjoy is watching the transition of people from when they’re sober to intoxicated. For some people it’s like a Dr. Jekyll transformation. They begin the evening pleasant and humble, but by the end of the night they are disturbing and annoying. These transitions are however different for men and women. Most men end up the same, they get louder and for some reason think they are more macho. So here come the chest bumping, fist pounding, childish actions like bottle tapping and a bunch of other things that annoy everyone around them. But then there’s that guy that gets touchy feely with every female around (I’m sure some women reading this have had an experience with this guy). He thinks that because he has had a few too many, that he has the right to touch women in places that he may not normally. So here come the butt grabbing, breast rubbing, arm caressing and any other touch that is unwelcome by the estranged woman.
For women, well they have a few different transitions. The first I like to call Sloppy Sue. She is the woman who truly doesn’t know her limits, and drinks until she has to be carried out by her friends or male counterpart (Hopefully she knows him). Then there is Flirty Fran. Flirty Fran is the woman who thinks every male in the establishment is fair game. She flirts, smiles, and bats her eyes to any suspecting male usually for a free drink. One of my favorites is Make out Mary. She is the woman who doesn’t mind making out with complete strangers. She is one who thinks that the alcohol will kill the Mononucleosis (Mono) or herpes that she may get from doing so. She also is the woman who makes out with her male counterpart (known or unknown) for extended periods of time in the middle of a public establishment. What she doesn’t understand is that no one wants to see that sloppy make out session. It’s ok to show public affection, but Make out Mary usually takes this to the extreme. The last one I like to call Embarrassing Emily. She is the woman who goes from someone you took out, to someone you want to leave. After while she becomes loud, obnoxious, and just plain embarrassing. She is the woman that you have to constantly apologize for her actions. Embarrassing Emily is also the one who blows your high and ruins your night. She will break a friendship after only one outing with her.
These are the transitions of people that I’ve noticed as a bartender. So the next time you’re out with your friends see if you can pick out these personalities. If you can’t you’re probably one of them.
These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.