Monday, February 28, 2011

Recipe of the Week: B-52

½ oz Kahlua
½ oz Baileys Irish Crème
½ oz Grand Marnier
Layer ingredients as listed and serve.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Saturday, February 26, 2011

What Happened?: Bathroom Betty

So Betty was a gymnastics athlete and was having a slumber party with her girlfriends.  Well Betty had one too many and tried to make it to bathroom.  She was successful in making it there but slipped because the previous guy that used it had bad aim.  Betty’s prior gymnastics experience allowed her to manipulate her body in the position she’s in.  On top of being too intoxicated to stand, Betty decided that it was best to hang out on the toilet just in case…


This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: B-52."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com


This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Friday, February 25, 2011

Help Yourself

Some of the things that people do are crazy, some are dangerous, and others are just downright retarded.  Well this story involves the latter, a guy who does something that I would never imagine someone would do.
                This guy isn’t worthy to give him a false name, because he practically walked in the establishment and maybe 15 minutes tops was escorted out.  So let me tell you why.  The bartender was busy at the time and in the midst of the commotion she sat the bottle of alcohol in the peanut rail (the area where drinks are made).  I will call this a “rookie” mistake because she just started working there and hadn’t been bartending long prior to this event.
                So this is where the retardedness (yes I said retardedness) comes in.  The bartender turned her back to ring up a drink or make another one while the bottle was still in the peanut rail.  This guy decided to take it upon himself to pour more liquor in his drink.  I guess she didn’t make it strong enough for him.  I saw this and couldn’t believe my eyes because I have never seen someone do such a stupid thing.  I ran and grabbed the bottle from him, took the drink, and had him escorted out for stupidity.  Meanwhile asked the bartender what she was thinking by leaving the bottle on the bar top like that.
                I understand that alcohol makes people do crazy things, but keep in mind, if you wouldn’t do it while you’re a guest at someone’s house it’s probably not a good idea to do it in public.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: Bathroom Betty

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Monday, February 21, 2011

Recipe of the Week: Liquid Cocaine

½ oz Jagermeister
½ oz Rumpleminz
½ oz Bacardi 151 rum
Shake and strain.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Help Yourself."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/ 

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dancing Queen

This shift started like any other shift, popping bottles and mixing drinks.  My establishment plays music, so as the night progresses and the alcohol starts to settle people dance more often.  Well this story involves a woman and her dancing attempts.
This particular night I was working at the end of the bar where the entrance was located.  Normally this isn’t a problem but it would prove to be a problem on this night.  This woman we’ll call her Sue (those of you that have read Real Life Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde will understand).  Sue was having a good time with her friends and dancing amongst them.  For some reason Sue thought it was a good idea to invite me to dance with her even thought she clearly saw that I was working.   I politely declined and continued what I was doing.
On one occasion I excused myself to attend the restroom, well on my way back Sue stepped in front of me and started dancing.  I was thinking to myself “Really?”  I politely declined again and proceeded back behind the bar.  I don’t think Sue takes rejection to well because her next action surprised me.  So here is the reason why me working at the end of the bar where the entrance was located was important.  As I mentioned before I don’t think Sue takes rejection to well, because she decided to graciously come behind the bar and dance on me.  I saw someone out the corner of my eye but I didn’t think someone would have the nerve to come behind the bar.  I asked her what she was doing and stated that she couldn’t be back there in a firm and stern voice.  She kind of pouted and went back to dancing with her friends.
Sometimes I really don’t understand what goes on in peoples head, I’m not sure if I really want to know actually.  To those who don’t take rejection well, it’s ok to be told no because it may be one step closer to a yes but it’s not the end of the world.  So take it in stride and move on.
           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Monday, February 14, 2011

Recipe of the Week: Mind Eraser

1 ¼ oz Vodka
¾ Kahlua
Shake strain, add a splash of soda water, add a few ice cubes, take shot through a straw.   Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Saturday, February 12, 2011

What Happened?: X-Games

So the kid in the blue jacket had one too many Three Wise Men shots.  Unfortunate for him he also plans to try out for next years X-Games competition.  His mentor is the the guy next to him with the Charlie Brownish sweater on.  You can tell he used to practice BMX back in his day because of his missing front teeth.  Well the mentor suggested the guy try his new kick flip to grind trick "after" they had been drinking.  He said, "If you can land it drunk then you can definitely land it sober." Thinking it was a good idea the kid tried it and failed miserably as you can see.  He lost a shoe and wrapped himself around the picnic table.  His mentor thought it was the funniest thing ever and decided to capture the moment and drink to his demise.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Mind Eraser."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Friday, February 11, 2011

Home Wrecker

This story involves a woman who we will call Jane.  Jane has three kids and at the time of this story was unemployed.  Jane was visiting my establishment to get away from her kids and her “situation.”
I forgot to mention that Jane was recently divorced and her ex-husband took everything leaving her with pretty much nothing.  This provides the recipe for a scorned woman.  So Jane was at the bar and decided to tell me her story.  She looked sad as if she was about to cry and out of concern I asked what was wrong.  She was also carrying a bridal magazine (I’ll get to the importance of it later).  Jane had been able to survive unemployed because this guy she was talking to/dating was providing for her and the kids.  The catch is the guy was married and she was the “mistress.”
Somehow the wife found out about Jane and confronted her while she was working.  This instance caused a big scene at her job (hence the reason she was unemployed).  As a result the guy left his wife and decided to be with Jane.  Six months later the husband had a change of heart and decided to try and work things out with his wife.  Once again Jane was left to fend for herself (another ingredient for the recipe).  Here’s where the bridal magazine comes into play.  In that short period of time I guess talk of getting married had arisen.  That day she visited my establishment she was out looking for wedding gowns and such.  Also in that day the married guy decided to break things off with Jane (sounds like a soap opera right?)  So now Jane was drinking her sorrows away and trying to figure out her next move.  Because he provided for her, gave her money, etc. now she was back to square one.
If you decide to get involved with a married person, keep in mind that 1. Adultery is illegal in some states and charges can be pressed and 2. Imagine if you were on the other end of the stick and it was your husband/wife cheating on you.  Stay tuned tomorrow for "What Happened?: X-Games."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Monday, February 7, 2011

Recipe of the Week: Three Wise Men

3/4 oz Jack Daniels
3/4 oz Jim Beam
3/4 oz Johnny Walker Black

Shake and strain ingredients. Can be consumed as a drink or as a shot.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Home Wrecker."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Saturday, February 5, 2011

What Happened?: World Cup

This guy was a soccer phenom from childhood.  He won all kinds of trophies and awards for his ability.  His latest (the one on his head) was from winning a college title.  To celebrate he decided to get drunk with his teammates.  I guess you can see why he's passed out, from all the beers that he consumed.  As a result of his over consumption, his teammates decided to decorate him with all his trophies and empty beer cans.  If that wasn't enough, they decided to leave him a engraved note (the brown plaque on his chest).  It reads, "The Don't Do List" 1. Don't, drink too much
2. Don't, hog the ball again during a title game
3. Don't, party foul and pass out on the couch
4. Don't, move to fast or all your trophies will fall and break
5. Don't, call for help
I don't think tylenol is going to help the hangover he will have the next morining.  My question is, how does someone stay passed out while all of this stuff is being piled on his body?

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Three Wise Men."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Friday, February 4, 2011

Yummy Man

It never ceases to amaze me that people say some of the craziest things when they’re intoxicated.  I will provide a disclaimer that this story contains somewhat vulgar language, it’s because I’m quoting exactly what this particular woman said.  On that note this story involves an older woman and her lady friend.  I had seen these women before and their faces looked familiar. 
Towards the end of the night they came to me for some shots.  I forget what exactly they ordered, it was probably a woo woo or something girly like that.  Her friend hesitated a little while before taking her shot, and the lady said, “Stop being a pussy and take the shot.”  I was like wow that’s pretty direct.  She then turned to a couple of guys that were standing nearby and asked them, “Is she a pussy for babying her shot?”  The guys had the same look of disbelief as I did.  Her friend finally took the shot and the lady out of nowhere starts screaming, “Yummy yummy in my tummy!” and then says “I bet you would be yummy in my tummy too…”  My mouth dropped and her friend must have noticed my reaction because she quickly said, “Please excuse her, she gets crazy when she’s drinking.” 
Shortly afterwards she says, “Oh I would rip your clothes off” and just made all kinds of obscene sexual remarks.  At first I was taken back but after while I just decided to laugh it off because this woman apparently had no idea of what she was saying.  I think her favorite word must be “pussy” because everyone she ran into she would randomly call them a pussy whether she knew them or not.  But here is the kicker, this woman was married for 12 years! I could not believe this when her friend told me, I would be really upset if my wife of twelve years was in public acting this way.  I understand sometimes you have to let your hair down, but sometimes you need to keep a little pinned up in the back.
If you decide to go out and have a nice evening with friends, be conscious of what you say because you may offend someone unintentionally.

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/