Saturday, November 6, 2010

A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street

This story begins as soon as I clock in to work.  It was one of those nights that were busy from beginning to end.  I didn’t have a chance to put on my work shirt all the way because people were in need of beverages.  Along with being busy comes people who are highly impatient and this is where it all begins.
I was actually having a good fairly productive day, so I was in a good mood when I arrived for work.  This all changed in a matter of minutes.  I’m at one end of the bar helping customers and this one particular impatient guy was screaming at the top of his lungs “Hey, hey!” Not only was this rude but it’s a sure way to get ignored.  I looked down at him and gave the dirtiest look I could muster up and continued helping the person I was presently with.  I asked a fellow bartender to go help that guy because if I went down there I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty.  He was busy also and wasn’t able to serve him, so guess who got stuck with having to do so, me.  I proceed to greet him and he immediately turns around to ask other people what they want (as if he didn’t have enough time to do so already).  So I asked a female who was beside him what she would like, I made her drinks and while I was doing so he continues to yell “Hey, hey!”  I guess they were part of the same group because he paid (well at least he attempted to pay).  It takes a lot from a guest to upset me, but what this guy did instantly pushed that button.  I’ve experienced a lot of things but never this before.  This guy handed me a twenty dollar bill with his pointer finger and thumb and had his middle finger sticking up at the same time.  All I could do was gently step back, take a deep breath, and kind of laugh because I didn’t really want to do or say what first came to mind.  The female must have seen something on my face because she almost instantly ordered another beer to kind of distract me from the situation.  I told “her” the total and the other guy starts mouthing off, “Oh is it free? You didn’t take my money so it must be.”  Once again, a deep breath and a slight chuckle were needed.  She snatched the twenty from him and paid the difference herself.  If you were in that same situation what would you do?  Feel free to leave comments in the comment box.
Needless to say I’m glad I didn’t have to serve him again because there’s no telling how it would have ended.  My mother always told me to never be rude to your doctor, barber, someone who signs your checks, or someone who prepares your food/drinks (you can imagine why).  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Koolaid."
These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate

10.) Grabbing drinks before we hand them to you
It is so aggravating when I’m making drinks and people start grabbing them before I finish (i.e putting a straw in, garnish, etc.)
9.)  Single ordering
“Let me get a…” I make the drink, “and a…” I make the drink, “oh and a…”
8.)  Saying you’ll tip later
Nine times out of ten they never do
7.)  Complaining about drink
Bars don’t water down alcohol (at least most bars) and if you want a strong drink order something on the rocks or on the rocks with a splash
6.)  Not knowing what you want before you approach the bar
It makes our job so much easier when you know what you want
5.)  Saying “Just make me something” or “Give me a beer”
We don’t know what you like or don’t like, and most bars have more than one beer, so saying give me a beer is like going to a car dealership and saying “Give me a car.”
4.)  People who think the garnishes are a buffet
Every once in a while people will partake of the olives or cherries as if they were eating popcorn or something
3.)  People who intentionally order the wrong drink
Occasionally people will order the wrong drink in hopes that I will still give them the wrong drink anyway.  Because they know it’s going to be thrown out
2.)  Yelling "Hey" or whistling to get our attention
It is so rude when people do this, "Excuse me" or something to that effect is more polite
1.) No tip or insufficient tip
Bartenders work off tips, so when you don’t tip it affects our well being.  Insufficient tip is almost as bad as no tip (15 -20% is  customary).  If you ever wonder why you got bad service or your second beverage wasn’t as good as the first?  If you didn’t tip that’s probably why   

Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Recipe of the Week: Surfer on Acid

3/4 oz Jagermeister
3/4 oz Coconut rum
Splash of pineapple

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for "The Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate"