Recipe of the Week: Chocolate Chip Cookie

1 oz Frangelico

1 oz Lite Cream de Cocoa

Splash of half & half If consuming as a shot, fill with half and half if consuming as a drink

Freeloader

One thing that bartenders have to deal with on a daily basis is people who try to get extra alcohol or free drinks.  You will be amazed at the tactics people try to get something for free.  In this story I discuss a few of these tactics and my reactions to them.

My favorite and most common tactic is the good ol’ “I don’t taste any alcohol in my drink.”  People often think that bars water down the liquor, I’m here to attest that out of all the bars I have worked at (which is quite a few) I’ve never witnessed this practice.   Depending on the mood I’m in depicts my reaction to this classic.  Generally I say, “I’m sorry if you would like to buy another shot I will gladly add it.”  Other times I simply ignore them and continue helping another guest, which usually results in the person walking off or something.  If I’m in a not caring mood I will fill their cup with as much alcohol as it will take, and then dare them to complain about that drink.

Another tactic is people will order too much of something and then say the wanted a different number.  For instance, someone will order six shots and then say, “I only wanted five.”  They do this in hopes that I will say, “Oh I’m sorry, I’ve already made it so you can still have it.” Yeah right, I ask them if they still want it and if they say no I simply throw it away.

Then there are women and their tactics.  They may work to get you out of a speeding ticket, but to get free alcohol it doesn’t work (with me at least).  I watched this particular woman before she approached the bar, she had pulled her shirt further down revealing her zebra print bra (which wasn’t attractive in the least bit) and I wondered what she was doing.  She approaches the bar and asks if I could add more alcohol to her friends drink because it wasn’t strong enough, the whole time she is leaning forward trying to show her cleavage and zebra print.  I thought it was pretty funny and politely said no and suggested she order her drink with a splash of mixer next time.  She stomped off and pulled her shirt back up.

This next one is probably the most extreme I’ve ever seen in all my years of bartending.  One of my coworkers was pretty busy and for some reason instead of placing the liquor bottle back in the well, she placed it in the peanut well (the place where the drinks are made).  She turned her back to ring the order and this guy decides that she had not poured enough alcohol, he was brave enough to take the bottle and add more alcohol to the drink himself.  What would posses someone to do that I will never know, but as a result he was quickly escorted out and banned from the establishment.

If you are a person who tries to get free alcohol, one tactic that I know for sure works is being a good tipper.  Because if you are looking out for me I will in turn look out for you (I may even buy you a shot or two).  But just trying to get free alcohol with nothing in return never works on me.  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Chocolate Chip Cookie."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Safety First

Bartenders have many responsibilities besides taking orders and mixing drinks.  This also includes ensuring the safety of our guest during their visit at our establishment.  It is interesting because people tend to put safety on the back burner once they become intoxicated.  This particular story involves instances where people have done unsafe things due to intoxication.

The first instance involves a guy and a beer bottle.  I want to make a point that we utilize plastic glassware (if that makes sense) because people tend to drop things and plastic is more durable.  This particular guy was drinking a beer and somehow it just fell out of his hand.  As if gravity had made the beer twelve pounds instead of twelve ounces.  I believe it was mostly full because it made a big mess and beer and glass was everywhere.  I will assume he could not afford a new beer because he picked up the bottom portion of the beer bottle that was still intact and drunk out of it.  I could not believe what I was seeing, his friend yelled at him not to do that and he gracefully put it back on the floor.

The second instance involves a guy and two stories up.  This event did not happen inside my establishment but in the same complex.  The story was this guy was upset because he could not go inside another bar due to dress code or something.  He told the bouncer that if he did not let him in he was going to jump off the balcony.  The bouncer still refused service, so the man jumped off the balcony that was two stories up from the lower level.  He ended up splitting his head open and had to be rushed to the emergency room.  When I finally was able to view the scene there was a big pool of blood where he landed.

The third instance involves a woman and a beer bucket.  She and her friends had finished a bucket of beer and were casually socializing.  But this particular female must have consumed too many beers or shots because she decided to use the beer bucket as her own personal trash can.  Mind you there was a “real” trash can like five feet away that I’m sure she could have made it to.  She vomited for a while and tried to continue socializing as if she had not done anything (with the bucket sitting on the bar top).  I summoned a manager, explained the situation, and she was casually escorted out.

I have tried to understand the behaviors of people while they are intoxicated and I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible.  There is no telling how much they have consumed prior or what is going through their minds at that particular time.  If you plan on drinking and having a good time, please keep in mind the safety of yourself and others.  Stay tuned on tomorrow for a story called "Freeloader."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Carrot Cake

½ oz Goldshlager/Goldshlick

½ oz Baileys Irish Creme

½ oz Hazelnut Liqueur

Layer ingredients

Up and Arms

This story begins as any normal shift does, popping bottles and mixing alcoholic beverages.  It was a fairly slow night so it made observing the behaviors of others easy.  I had consumed plenty of water which in turn made my visits to the restroom quite frequent.  This story involves one woman, we’ll call her Sarah.  Sarah was out with two of her friends having a girl’s night out.  They were probably in their latter thirties early forties in age.  It is amazing what people do when alcohol is involved.

On one particular return trip from the restroom, Sarah stops me and is holding out her hands palms facing up.  I had a puzzled look on my face and asked what she needed.  I am the type of person who doesn’t like to be touched by strangers and try to return the favor to others.  So while she had her hands out I was immediately hesitant to give her my hands.  It caught me off guard and just out of a sheer reaction provided her my hands.  This was a total mistake because I would never expect someone to do what she did next.  Susan pulled me towards her and began groping my arms as if she was giving me a pat down or something.  In total shock I pulled away and kindly asked her what in the world she was doing.  She had a seductive look about her face and just smiled, I felt violated and did the best I could to sanitize my arms especially after what I saw shortly after.

After Susan groped me I began paying particular attention to her location so I could stay away as far as possible.   While doing so, I noticed a white bandage on her arm as if she had just given blood, had surgery, or something else.  I was even more distraught then I was before and felt even more violated.  What made the situation even worse was that every so often Susan would ask if she could touch my arms again.  I wanted to tell her what was really on my mind but refrained and kindly told her no.  I guess Susan had a thing for muscles because a gentleman with a similar physique soon appeared and Susan was on him like white on rice.  All I could do was shake my head and be glad that her attention was diverted to him.

                Some people are the touchy feely type and that’s just their nature, but keep in mind that not everyone likes to be touched by strangers.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Carrot Cake.”

                These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Just When You Think...

A bartender has many responsibilities, these include maintaining a clean and safe working environment, making alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, serving guest, and few others.  But the one quality that every good bartender should posses is being a good listener.  Often times I write about funny, weird, or just downright unbelievable things, but this story is on the more serious touching side and I hope everyone that reads this will take this story to heart.  This story involves a man we’ll call him Steve, he is someone who was doing the best he could to make ends meet.

Bartenders are sometimes considered to be the local free psychologist, because people just need someone to talk to and listen to their problem or situation.  Steve was one of those people and I happen to be the psychologist on duty.  Honestly, I don’t mind listening because I have learned a lot about myself and life lessons just from hearing other people’s problems and issues.  Steve was married and had a baby on the way.  I can tell this family was dedicated to providing because his wife worked until the day she went into labor, she was actually at work when her water broke and was back at work two days later.  Steve worked long hours to provide for his new family and never complained about his line of work.  On one particular day Steve came in and was walking with a slight limp, I asked what was wrong and he replied that his foot was swollen.  Although this was true, Steve still attended work and stood on that foot for at least six hours.  I recommended for him to visit the hospital in the event something was wrong, Steve took my advice and attended the hospital after his shift.

A few days later Steve came back in except this time he was on crutches.  Apparently he went to the hospital so I asked what the doctor said.  Prior to this incident Steve was on antibiotics for another condition, well Steve ran out and as a result some of the illness was still lingering.  Sometimes bad luck is worse than no luck at all, because Steve cut his foot and probably didn’t treat it correctly because the cut ended up getting infected.  The infection is what caused his foot to swell.  Well it turned out to develop something worse than a mere infection.  Because he wasn’t on the antibiotics his previous illness led to the infection becoming gangrene.  As if this wasn’t bad enough, the doctors told him that they would have to amputate his infected toes because the gangrene had spread too far.  I watch a lot of discovery channel, and I remembered a show where doctors had used leaches to restore circulation, so I suggested he check into this as an alternative.  Unfortunately the doctors informed him that procedure wouldn’t help and he would have to amputate soon so the gangrene wouldn’t spread further.  Throughout all of this Steve continued to work (on crutches might I add) because he knew he had a family to support and unemployment wouldn’t suffice.  I asked Steve what he going to do after the surgery, he replied “I’ll be back at work the next day.”  I was just amazed at this man’s strength, determination, and dedication.  All I could do was feel bad, because here I was complaining about the little stuff that was going on in my life, and this man was about to have his toes amputated and still dedicated to supporting his family.  It made me realize just how fortunate and blessed I was and not to take things for granted.  We have been conditioned to take the things we have for granted, this includes our employment, loved ones, possessions, even down to our bodily extremities (arms, legs, etc.) It is not until these things are taken away from us that we realize how fortunate we are to have them.

Just when you think your situation is bad, there is always someone out there in a worse situation than yours.  Keep this in mind when you face life’s trials and don’t take anything for granted, because one minute it could be there and the next minute it’s gone.  Appreciate life and the little things it has to offer, and don’t make fun of other peoples misfortunes try helping them instead.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "Up and Arms."

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Tootsie Roll

1 ¼ oz Kahlua

¾ oz Raspberry Schnapps

Splash of orange juice

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Just When You Think."

Way Too Much

This story has the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples” but by night’s end took a horrible right turn.  I don’t think the best NASCAR driver in the world could have completed this turn.  This story involves two women, one we’ll call Sloppy Sue (if you have read Real Life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde you’ll see why) and her friend. 

Sue and company attended the establishment seeking to have a fun evening, before they would make it back home this would all change.  Sue and her friend started out drinking the special and progressed to mixed shots.  They both were in their mid to latter thirties and weren’t expected to behave or end up like just turning twenty-one year olds.  But nevertheless I guess we all have to let our hair down sometimes (she would later need hers held up).  Of course with two fairly attractive females comes the group of males that want to buy them drinks. 

So how does this story have the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples?”  Well let me explain, I knew something interesting was about to happen when Sue ordered a cherry bomb for herself.  I made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  Traditionally people leave the tip on the bar top or hand it to me personally.  Sue had a better idea of which I wasn’t mad at her for.  She waves a dollar around and pretends to hand it to me, I reach for it, she snatches it back and proceeds to place it her cleavage.  I had a puzzled look until she leaned forward as to instruct me to retrieve it, so I did what any normal guy would, I asked her to kindly take it out of there because I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.  Yeah right!  I was in there so fast, you would have thought I was digging for gold.  She smiled, walked away, and then consumed her beverage.  That event changed my night and if nothing else happened I would have went home happy.  But that wasn’t the case, Sue came back a little while later and ordered another cherry bomb for herself.  I followed the same procedure, made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  I was thinking to myself, “Man it would be interesting if Sue did the same thing again.”   To my surprise, sure enough Sue put another dollar in her cleavage.  Unfortunately this story doesn’t have a happy ending for Sue or me for that matter.

Around 12 o’clock that night, a customer comes up to me and says, “That lady over there is passed out, I’ve tried to wake her up but she hasn’t moved.”  I peek over there and a woman is slumped over with her head on her forearms, I run to grab a manager to investigate the situation further.  While the manager is in route I’m looking at this woman and all of a sudden I see her vomit.  I asked the customers I was serving to confirm and they did.  This lady vomited for five minutes straight and I was just wondering where the manager was.  He finally arrived with a cleanup crew, and proceeded to escort the woman out.  I finally was able to see who the woman was. Can you take a wild guess at who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue.  Needless to say that she was no longer attractive, and all I could think was “Oh my gosh, that’s cherry bomb lady.”  Oh that’s not the end of the story it gets a little better.

About an hour later one of the female bartenders’ left for the restroom, she immediately came back and said, “I can’t go in there yet because cops are in there.”  Apparently someone had passed out “on the toilet” and made a huge mess and wasn’t responding to coming out.  The cops were phoned in and a stretcher requested.  This lady had consumed so much that she literally wasn’t able to function and the EMS had to escort her out on a stretcher.  Once again guess who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue!  I could not believe it because based on what I served her, she shouldn’t have been that intoxicated.  But you never know how much people consume prior to visiting your establishment.  What do you think about people that don't know their limits?  Feel free to leave your comments.

No one should drink until they are so intoxicated that they pass out and can’t control their bodily functions.  It is unattractive, puts your friends in a tough place, not to mention dangerous to your health.  There’s nothing wrong with having a good time just make sure to be safe.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Tootsie Roll.”

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Declined

This story is interesting in two ways, they will be revealed later on.  This particular story involves a married woman and karma (I understand some of you don’t believe in karma).  I do believe in the old saying, “What goes around comes around.”  The female in this story, we’ll call her Susan will believe in it too after what she experienced.

Susan approached the bar during a busy time, I acknowledged her and said, “I’ll be with you shortly.”  She nodded and continued to wait.  In a moments time I took her drink order along with a few others and proceeded to make them.  As soon as I was making her beverage the other bartender asked her if she needed anything, instead of saying “No, I’ve been helped.” She replies, “Yes, all I want is a captain and coke.”  This wasn’t enough so she added, “I’ve been waiting for a drink for twenty minutes.”  Keep in mind that I had just took her drink order and was about to make it.  Not only this, I knew for sure that she had not been waiting twenty minutes.  Neither of us is that slow to where we couldn’t have taken her order in twenty minutes time.  Along with her obscene remark she requested additional alcohol to remedy her complaint.  As I stated before, what goes around comes around, and did it ever come around.

As the night progressed she added drinks to her tab and later decided to close out.  This is where the story truly begins.  Upon attempting to close the tab Susan’s card was declined.  You should have seen the grin on my face, I took so much pleasure in telling her as loudly as possible (without being obvious) that her card was declined.  After all the complaining and rudeness here she was with a declined credit card (I told you what goes around comes around).  The story gets better, Susan comes back with another card stating she just activated it and that it should work.  I ran this card and guess what?  It was declined too!  So I got the pleasure of telling Susan that this card was declined as well, oh what are the odds?  Susan goes off to call the bank to get things straightened out and after about thirty minutes she comes back.  She says, “Ok, I just got off the phone with the bank, they released the block and it should go through.”  I attempted to run her card again and yeah you guessed right it was declined again.  At this point I can admit that it wasn’t fun to tell her it was declined again, I slightly turned around and shook my head no.  She outburst, “What the “F” I just talked to them and they said it was fine?”  Susan began to slightly sob and got teary eyed, I kind of felt bad for her (but not really since all the crap she had put us through).  I guess Susan was tired of the shenanigans because she came back the fourth time with cash.

So here’s the interesting part, this story took place the same night as “Jack Be Nimble, Jack Be Quick” and “A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street.”  That night was full of stories and interesting happenings.  To all the Susan’s of the world, be nice to people because you never know when you’ll need them again.  Staty tuned tomorrow for a story called "Way Too Much."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Koolaid

¾ oz Amaretto

¾ oz Melon liqueur

½ oz Southern Comfort

Fill with cran, shake and strain over ice

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Declined."

A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street

This story begins as soon as I clock in to work.  It was one of those nights that were busy from beginning to end.  I didn’t have a chance to put on my work shirt all the way because people were in need of beverages.  Along with being busy comes people who are highly impatient and this is where it all begins.

I was actually having a good fairly productive day, so I was in a good mood when I arrived for work.  This all changed in a matter of minutes.  I’m at one end of the bar helping customers and this one particular impatient guy was screaming at the top of his lungs “Hey, hey!” Not only was this rude but it’s a sure way to get ignored.  I looked down at him and gave the dirtiest look I could muster up and continued helping the person I was presently with.  I asked a fellow bartender to go help that guy because if I went down there I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty.  He was busy also and wasn’t able to serve him, so guess who got stuck with having to do so, me.  I proceed to greet him and he immediately turns around to ask other people what they want (as if he didn’t have enough time to do so already).  So I asked a female who was beside him what she would like, I made her drinks and while I was doing so he continues to yell “Hey, hey!”  I guess they were part of the same group because he paid (well at least he attempted to pay).  It takes a lot from a guest to upset me, but what this guy did instantly pushed that button.  I’ve experienced a lot of things but never this before.  This guy handed me a twenty dollar bill with his pointer finger and thumb and had his middle finger sticking up at the same time.  All I could do was gently step back, take a deep breath, and kind of laugh because I didn’t really want to do or say what first came to mind.  The female must have seen something on my face because she almost instantly ordered another beer to kind of distract me from the situation.  I told “her” the total and the other guy starts mouthing off, “Oh is it free? You didn’t take my money so it must be.”  Once again, a deep breath and a slight chuckle were needed.  She snatched the twenty from him and paid the difference herself.  If you were in that same situation what would you do?  Feel free to leave comments in the comment box.

Needless to say I’m glad I didn’t have to serve him again because there’s no telling how it would have ended.  My mother always told me to never be rude to your doctor, barber, someone who signs your checks, or someone who prepares your food/drinks (you can imagine why).  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Koolaid."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate

10.) Grabbing drinks before we hand them to you

It is so aggravating when I’m making drinks and people start grabbing them before I finish (i.e putting a straw in, garnish, etc.)

9.)  Single ordering

“Let me get a…” I make the drink, “and a…” I make the drink, “oh and a…”

8.)  Saying you’ll tip later

Nine times out of ten they never do

7.)  Complaining about drink

Bars don’t water down alcohol (at least most bars) and if you want a strong drink order something on the rocks or on the rocks with a splash

6.)  Not knowing what you want before you approach the bar

It makes our job so much easier when you know what you want

5.)  Saying “Just make me something” or “Give me a beer”

We don’t know what you like or don’t like, and most bars have more than one beer, so saying give me a beer is like going to a car dealership and saying “Give me a car.”

4.)  People who think the garnishes are a buffet

Every once in a while people will partake of the olives or cherries as if they were eating popcorn or something

3.)  People who intentionally order the wrong drink

Occasionally people will order the wrong drink in hopes that I will still give them the wrong drink anyway.  Because they know it’s going to be thrown out

2.)  Yelling "Hey" or whistling to get our attention
It is so rude when people do this, "Excuse me" or something to that effect is more polite

1.) No tip or insufficient tip

Bartenders work off tips, so when you don’t tip it affects our well being.  Insufficient tip is almost as bad as no tip (15 -20% is  customary).  If you ever wonder why you got bad service or your second beverage wasn’t as good as the first?  If you didn’t tip that’s probably why   

Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street."

Recipe of the Week: Surfer on Acid

3/4 oz Jagermeister
3/4 oz Coconut rum
Splash of pineapple

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for "The Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate"