Freeloader

One thing that bartenders have to deal with on a daily basis is people who try to get extra alcohol or free drinks.  You will be amazed at the tactics people try to get something for free.  In this story I discuss a few of these tactics and my reactions to them.

My favorite and most common tactic is the good ol’ “I don’t taste any alcohol in my drink.”  People often think that bars water down the liquor, I’m here to attest that out of all the bars I have worked at (which is quite a few) I’ve never witnessed this practice.   Depending on the mood I’m in depicts my reaction to this classic.  Generally I say, “I’m sorry if you would like to buy another shot I will gladly add it.”  Other times I simply ignore them and continue helping another guest, which usually results in the person walking off or something.  If I’m in a not caring mood I will fill their cup with as much alcohol as it will take, and then dare them to complain about that drink.

Another tactic is people will order too much of something and then say the wanted a different number.  For instance, someone will order six shots and then say, “I only wanted five.”  They do this in hopes that I will say, “Oh I’m sorry, I’ve already made it so you can still have it.” Yeah right, I ask them if they still want it and if they say no I simply throw it away.

Then there are women and their tactics.  They may work to get you out of a speeding ticket, but to get free alcohol it doesn’t work (with me at least).  I watched this particular woman before she approached the bar, she had pulled her shirt further down revealing her zebra print bra (which wasn’t attractive in the least bit) and I wondered what she was doing.  She approaches the bar and asks if I could add more alcohol to her friends drink because it wasn’t strong enough, the whole time she is leaning forward trying to show her cleavage and zebra print.  I thought it was pretty funny and politely said no and suggested she order her drink with a splash of mixer next time.  She stomped off and pulled her shirt back up.

This next one is probably the most extreme I’ve ever seen in all my years of bartending.  One of my coworkers was pretty busy and for some reason instead of placing the liquor bottle back in the well, she placed it in the peanut well (the place where the drinks are made).  She turned her back to ring the order and this guy decides that she had not poured enough alcohol, he was brave enough to take the bottle and add more alcohol to the drink himself.  What would posses someone to do that I will never know, but as a result he was quickly escorted out and banned from the establishment.

If you are a person who tries to get free alcohol, one tactic that I know for sure works is being a good tipper.  Because if you are looking out for me I will in turn look out for you (I may even buy you a shot or two).  But just trying to get free alcohol with nothing in return never works on me.  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Chocolate Chip Cookie."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.