Saturday, November 13, 2010

Way Too Much

This story has the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples” but by night’s end took a horrible right turn.  I don’t think the best NASCAR driver in the world could have completed this turn.  This story involves two women, one we’ll call Sloppy Sue (if you have read Real Life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde you’ll see why) and her friend. 
Sue and company attended the establishment seeking to have a fun evening, before they would make it back home this would all change.  Sue and her friend started out drinking the special and progressed to mixed shots.  They both were in their mid to latter thirties and weren’t expected to behave or end up like just turning twenty-one year olds.  But nevertheless I guess we all have to let our hair down sometimes (she would later need hers held up).  Of course with two fairly attractive females comes the group of males that want to buy them drinks. 
So how does this story have the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples?”  Well let me explain, I knew something interesting was about to happen when Sue ordered a cherry bomb for herself.  I made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  Traditionally people leave the tip on the bar top or hand it to me personally.  Sue had a better idea of which I wasn’t mad at her for.  She waves a dollar around and pretends to hand it to me, I reach for it, she snatches it back and proceeds to place it her cleavage.  I had a puzzled look until she leaned forward as to instruct me to retrieve it, so I did what any normal guy would, I asked her to kindly take it out of there because I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.  Yeah right!  I was in there so fast, you would have thought I was digging for gold.  She smiled, walked away, and then consumed her beverage.  That event changed my night and if nothing else happened I would have went home happy.  But that wasn’t the case, Sue came back a little while later and ordered another cherry bomb for herself.  I followed the same procedure, made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  I was thinking to myself, “Man it would be interesting if Sue did the same thing again.”   To my surprise, sure enough Sue put another dollar in her cleavage.  Unfortunately this story doesn’t have a happy ending for Sue or me for that matter.
Around 12 o’clock that night, a customer comes up to me and says, “That lady over there is passed out, I’ve tried to wake her up but she hasn’t moved.”  I peek over there and a woman is slumped over with her head on her forearms, I run to grab a manager to investigate the situation further.  While the manager is in route I’m looking at this woman and all of a sudden I see her vomit.  I asked the customers I was serving to confirm and they did.  This lady vomited for five minutes straight and I was just wondering where the manager was.  He finally arrived with a cleanup crew, and proceeded to escort the woman out.  I finally was able to see who the woman was. Can you take a wild guess at who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue.  Needless to say that she was no longer attractive, and all I could think was “Oh my gosh, that’s cherry bomb lady.”  Oh that’s not the end of the story it gets a little better.
About an hour later one of the female bartenders’ left for the restroom, she immediately came back and said, “I can’t go in there yet because cops are in there.”  Apparently someone had passed out “on the toilet” and made a huge mess and wasn’t responding to coming out.  The cops were phoned in and a stretcher requested.  This lady had consumed so much that she literally wasn’t able to function and the EMS had to escort her out on a stretcher.  Once again guess who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue!  I could not believe it because based on what I served her, she shouldn’t have been that intoxicated.  But you never know how much people consume prior to visiting your establishment.  What do you think about people that don't know their limits?  Feel free to leave your comments.
No one should drink until they are so intoxicated that they pass out and can’t control their bodily functions.  It is unattractive, puts your friends in a tough place, not to mention dangerous to your health.  There’s nothing wrong with having a good time just make sure to be safe.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Tootsie Roll.”
These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

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