Friday, December 31, 2010

Wardrobe Malfunction

Everyone remembers the Super Bowl halftime show with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake where he rips her dress and reveals her breast.  They pawned it off as a “wardrobe malfunction,” if it was I don’t think Janet would have had her nipple covered with a silver star to match her dress.  This story involves like wardrobe malfunctions.
This story is about a bachelorette who thought it was a good idea to wear a strapless dress on her last night of fun.  It would be ok if she was just planning to have dinner, see a show, or something that didn’t involve a lot of movement.  Instead she decided to go dancing and consume large amounts of alcohol.  This is not a good combination while wearing a strapless dress (not that I know from experience).  But after I explain what happened you will agree with me too.
So after a few shots and mixed drinks she began to dance the night away with her friends.  After while her favorite song came on and she started jumping up and down.  At first she was able to manage her strapless dress while dancing, but soon after she said the hell with it and let it go for itself.  This is where the wardrobe malfunction occurs.   Since it didn’t have straps, as she jumped up and down it slipped further and further down until her breast were out.  The first time it happened one of her friends noticed it and quickly assisted her, but later on it happened again and she continued to jump up and down like nothing was wrong.  I guess she felt a cool breeze because she finally realized it and pulled her dress back up.  The funny thing is I see women all the time playing tug of war between their dress and their breast, and I always wonder why they wear those dresses if they’re so difficult to manage.  I know how aggravating it is to keep my pants up if I’m not wearing a belt so I can somewhat relate.
To the women who wear strapless dresses to go dancing, try and be more aware of the “girls” especially if you plan on consuming alcoholic beverages.  To the men, there’s no telling what you may see if you’re in a dance club and a woman is wearing a strapless dress.  Stay tuned tomorrow for part one of a three part series called “Bar Champs.”

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

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