Recipe of the Week: Lindsay Lohan

The recipe for the Lindsay Lohan is a red headed slut with coke.

Red Headed Slut

1 oz Jagermeister
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Cranberry Juice

Lindsay Lohan

Combine ingredients above, shake and strain and add a splash of coke on top.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Act of Kindness."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

We Are All Brothers

These two brothers went out to celebrate the last day of being single.  The groom is the guy in the white shorts and the best man is the guy in blue.  After being brought back home by the limo, they staggered in doing the drunk person lean (you know the I hold you up and you hold me up walk).  Well the bestman was trying to get his brother to the bed, as you can see they never made it there.  One of the warmest parts on a mans body is his crotch area, we sometimes tend to sleep with our hands down there.  One of the other groomsman thought it would be funny to pose these two in such a position except in the others crotch.  I can only imagine what their reaction was when they woke up, or what the best man thought when he realized it was larger that normal.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Lindsay Lohan."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Times Have Changed

In this story I’ll first take you back a few years to the 80’s and 90’s and bring you to the 2000’s.  You’ll understand what I mean by the end of the post.

I am a product of the 80’s so that’s all I can relate to, but I’ve heard stories from parents and grandparents of how things used to be.  For instance, the telephone, my grandparents didn’t have a telephone and when they finally got one it was one of those that you had to turn the handle on the side and be connected to an operator.  My parents had rotary dial phones (I remember those myself).  This brings me to the touch tone phone and the cell phone era.

I remember when there was no call waiting and all you heard was a busy signal.  You had to call over and over until you reached the person.  What about when the answering machine first came out?  Do you remember when call waiting first came out and you could finally talk as long as you want and not miss calls?  Oh here you go, how about *69? It was short lived but it still was a cool feature to have.  Then I remember when the cordless phone emerged and you didn’t need that 10 foot cord to go from room to room.

Ah yes, the cell phone.  My first cell phone was straight analog, all you could do was dial numbers and talk.  Nowadays you can practically deliver a baby with your cell phone (probably could with the face to face chat).  All of this brings me to the point of my story, one night at work I realized just how far we’ve come with technology and everything else.  I also remember how if you wanted to speak to someone, you had to ask what time they were going to be home so you could call them.  It used to be the first contact with someone after you exchange numbers is a phone call.  Nowadays it’s probably a text (I know I’m guilty of this).  But what I heard/saw this night took the first contact to another level.  This guy was speaking with this lady and instead of exchanging numbers they exchanged names?  But here’s why they did this, after the exchange occurred the guy said, “Facebook me.”  No longer is the first contact the phone or cellular device it’s evolving to social media!  Who would have ever thought people would be exchanging names instead of numbers?

Stay tuned on tomorrow for “What Happened?: We’re All Brothers”

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38


These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: White Gummy Bear

1 1/2 oz Cherry Vodka
3/4 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Pineapple Juice
Splash of Sprite

Combine ingredients in a shaker (except for sprite) shake and strain, top with sprite.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38
Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Times Have Changed."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Rock a Bye Baby

John here was supposed to make a beer run and pick up some more snacks from the grocery store.  He managed to make it to the store but didn’t manage to make it back home.  After the beer ran out everyone was wondering what happened to John so they could continue the party.  Well as you can see John never made it from the grocery store.  He picked up a case of beer, chips, and some snacks, but when he reached the checkout counter he forgot his wallet.  To spare himself further humiliation and another trip back to the store, John decided it was best to camp out in one of the grocery baskets until the party was over.  After everyone sobered up they searched and found him like this (ashy knee caps and all).

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: White Gummy Bear."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Something In The Air

It is so funny how when the weather changes and one day of sun causes people to break out their tank tops, sandals, shorts, miniskirts, and halter tops.  On this particular night there must’ve been something in the air because the women were in rare form and I’ll explain shortly.

The first thing that struck me as being odd was the attire of women on this particular night.  It was somewhat chilly and had rained but not warm enough for women to wear what they had on.  I mean there were miniskirts, shirts that had their breast hanging out, skirts that looked like a werewolf clawed them across the chest and revealed everything, see through tops and the list goes on and on.  By no means am I complaining the eye candy was in abundance but for that time of year it was just strange.

So that was the first clue that something was in the air, the second occurrence was how they were acting.  I must provide a disclaimer for the next piece because I can’t really edit what this woman said to me because it was so powerful that I had no clue how to respond and I want you to understand how I felt when she said it.  So this woman attended the establishment with her husband for a date night.  They ordered a couple of beers and proceeded to a table, to make a long story short after a few shots and more beer she became more vocal about her feelings.  Keep in mind that she was married, on one particular visit to order a drink she boldly says, “If I wasn’t married and had four kids, I would fuck the shit out of you!”  How do you respond to that? How would you respond to that? (feel free to leave your comments) All I could think of to say was, “Thank You?” I’ve been told a lot of things but that threw me for a big loop.  As if that wasn’t enough and the night progressed even more stuff happened.

So the next thing that happened was a co-worker of mine was given a number.  She came up to the bar and said, “I know that I may not have a chance but I wanted to give you my number anyway.”  Who says that with such confidence?  That wasn’t the end of the shenanigans, later on that night a woman gave me her number too!  I asked my co-worker, “What in the world is going on tonight?”  All he could say was, “I don’t know man it is a weird night.”  I just thought myself there has to be something in the air.

This is why I will be scared to get married, because I see and hear so much stuff from married women that it makes me think twice.  If they behave like this when their married, I can only imagine how they were when they were single.  Stay tuned tommorrow for "What Happened?: Rock a Bye Baby"

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Fuzzy Hippo

1 ¼ oz Hypnotiq

½ oz Peach Schnapps

½ oz Vodka

1 oz Orange Juice

Sprite

Combine ingredients in a shaker, shake and strain over ice. Top with sprite.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Something in the Air."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: I've Fallen

Meredith here was out partying with friends and left the group to visit the ladies room.  As much as Meredith had to drink you would think one of her friends would have accompanied her.  But instead she embarked on this journey on her own.  As a result she never quite made it inside the stall but fell a little short (literally).  She tried to phone a friend but everyone besides Meredith left their phones in the car.  So the only person available to help her was the stranger who took the picture.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Fuzzy Hippo."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Silicone Valley

I’m sometimes amazed at the things I see while working.  Peoples behaviors, actions, and the things they say and talk about.  Some of this stuff you would never imagine men or women would say or do.  This story involves actions by a woman and her friend.

                We’ll call this woman Stacy, Stacy attended the establishment with her boyfriend and a female friend.  They came later in the night so they didn’t have much time to get “liquored up.”  So they started off by taking shots and ordered a few liquor drinks.  Stacy was enjoying herself and the company of her friends, there were a lot of people there that night so I understood that it was kind of hot.  I said that because Stacy did something I guess to reduce her body temperature (how it would help I still haven’t figured out).  I’ve seen woman take off their heels and try and walk around barefoot which is dangerous (broken glass, dirty floors, etc.), but rarely have I seen a woman do what Stacy did in public.

                So Stacy decides to whip off her bra (you know the bra through the sleeve trick) and walk around “free breastin.” I guess they were getting sweaty or something and she needed to let them breathe.  Her friend took the bra and tried to wear it and said, “I don’t have nearly enough to fill this thing.” I couldn’t help but laugh.  So then I looked at Stacy like “what are you doing?” and she said, “I don’t need the support anyway because their fake.”  Once again I couldn’t help but laugh.  So the boyfriend took the bra and wore it on his head like Mickey Mouse ears or something.   Stacy eventually stowed the bra away in her purse and continued to “free breast.”

                I understand dressing in layers and removing them as needed, but you should make sure that the removal of layers is appropriate.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: I’ve Fallen.”

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: 57 Chevy

¼ oz Vodka

¼ oz Rum

¼ oz Amaretto

¼ oz Southern Comfort

¼ oz Grand Marnier

1 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Orange Juice

Combine ingredients in a shaker, shake and strain over ice. 

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Silicone Valley."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Naked Mile

Suzy here runs the Naked Mile every year since it’s inception.  It starts with a social event, a picnic and barbeque where all the attendees eat and drink to prepare themselves for the evening.  At ten o’clock sharp the clothes come off and the race begins.  Well Suzy here ran the race and was exhausted, so instead of catching a cab or having a friend take her home, she decided to crash on one of the picnic tables (she could have at least cleared it off first).  Her friends went out looking for her the next day and this is where they found her.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: 57 Chevy."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Head Banger

Often times stories come from things that I don’t see but hear from other co-workers and witness the aftermath.  This story is one that I didn’t see personally but saw the after effects.

On this particular night I had served this couple for the majority of the night and they seemed like normal people out to have a good time.  But once alcohol gets involved everyone’s mannerism change.  As the night progressed and the liquor started to settle, they increased their PDA (public display of affection).  They were tonguing each other down and grabbing things that shouldn’t be in public.  Well, I guess things got too heated for them because they decided to take it to the next level.

I’m not sure how it occurred on a busy night, but the guy snuck into the women’s bathroom with his female companion.  This was a dumb idea especially since the guy was like 6’4” towering over the women’s stalls, so naturally another patron reported this to our security.  The bouncer walks in to the bathroom taps the guy on his head and says, “He man you can’t be in here.”  The guy replies, “Not now bro, not now.”  I’m sure you’re dying to know what was going on in that stall, right?  Well here it is, the guy was getting head from the girl while she was on the toilet!  I guess she was a good multi-tasker, personally I think she should have chose one or the other.  Even after security told him he had to leave she kept going, so management had to get involved, he unlocked the stall, and kicked them both out.  Here is the funny part, when he opened the stall she still had her panties around her ankles and he was zipping up his pants and they both tried to deny it.  Talk about being caught “red handed” (or wet handed in her case).

I understand that people like to be “adventurous” but you should do so in the privacy in your own home or at least at a place that’s high traffic.  Stay tuned on tomorrow for “What Happened?: Naked Mile.”

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: (Flaming) Dr. Pepper

1 ½ oz Amaretto Liqueur

½ oz Bacardi 151 rum

12 oz Domestic Beer

Combine amaretto and pour the 151 last into a single shot glass, pour beer in a separate glass filled about half way.  Drop shot into beer and consume immediately.  To make it flaming, light the shot and drop into beer (Caution: make sure fire is extinguished before consuming).  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Up Chuck

Up Chuck

Well it seems a lot of my stories involve people throwing up and the events that happen afterwards. I mind as well continue this tradition and tell another like story.

This story involves four guys from England.  They were visiting the states on vacation or something and attended my bar for a good time.  They mostly drank beer and as the night progressed they evolved to shots.  Three of the four guys were fine and able to hold their liquor (at least it seemed) and the fourth one I should have been more careful with.  Towards the end of the night he had an “I’m ok but if I take another shot I may be done for” look on his face.  Noticing this I was hesitant about serving him any further.  I stepped away from the bar for a second and the group ordered a round of shots from the other bartender (I should have warned him before I left).  By the time I got back they all had shots in hand and ready to take them.  What happened next almost caused “me” to vomit.

So after they took their shots I helped another guest and not even five minutes later the other bartender says to me, “I’m not going back down there, you have a mess to clean up.” Dumbfounded I walked back down there to investigate what he was referring to.  You remember the guy that looked suspect?  Yeah him, this SOB had the nerve to throw up all over the bar top!  I mean it was covered, it was so bad that it made it to the other side on to the beer cooler.  You better believe he was escorted out “immediately.”  That’s one thing I can’t stand it’s one thing to vomit in a trash can, toilet, bushes, etc. it’s another to vomit on the bar top where peoples drinks and hands have to touch.  That stuff carries diseases and all kinds of other disgusting things.  I absolutely refused to touch or come close to it, thank goodness we have door people who clean up that sort of thing.  It must’ve taken the guy thirty minutes to clean and sanitize the area, and after he cleaned it I sprayed it again with more sanitizer (just in case).

Your body will tell when you have had enough all you have to do is listen and not over indulge in alcohol.  It’s embarrassing to vomit in public and isn’t fun for your friends who have to carry you home.   I hate to sound cliché but drink responsibly and be safe.

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Sour Apple Martini

1 ¼ oz Vodka

¾ oz Sour Apple Pucker

Splash of Sour Mix

Chill a martini glass, combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker, shake and strain into the martini glass. Garnish with a cherry.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Up Chuck."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened:? Grill Master

So Jim and his friends decided to get away from their wives for the weekend.  For the trip they decided to go camping for some male bonding time.  Well after a long night of drinking and story telling the gentlemen got hungry.  They put Jim here in charge of the grill (you can see how that went), and after awhile and no word from Jim they went to check on him.  As a result of Jims overindulgence they found him like this with the meat burnt on the grill and everyone pissed off because that was all the meat (guess they’ll have to do Cajun style).

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Sour Apple Martini."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Married With Children

I sometimes question the reasons why people get married. Nowadays it seems as if people are getting married for all the wrong reasons.  Whether it’s because of wealth, a child, high school sweethearts, or anything other than true love.  This story involves a woman who is married and has child who acts as if she is still single.

We’ll call this woman Mary, Mary is a regular at this establishment who often attends with her fellow teachers.  They come have a few beverages and enjoy the evening away from school, husbands, and kids.  On every visit prior to this one Mary had a good time and didn’t do anything out of her normal character.  I guess Mary had a few more than she normally does so she was a little more “open” (for lack of better words).  Anytime Mary visits the establishment she will find me to at least say hi and she sometimes orders her first drink from me as well.  She didn’t order her first drink from me but did get another later on that evening which is when things started to get interesting.

After I made her beverage and gave it to her, as with most women she had her money in her bra (safe keeping I guess).  Well in the process of retrieving her money I guess she figured this was an opportune moment to flash me her breast and afterwards she said, “That was for you…”  At the time the only reaction I could come up with was “Nice!”  In the back of my mind I was thinking, “Why did this married woman just flash me?  What would her husband think if he saw that?”  But this was only the beginning for Mary unfortunately it gets a lot worse.

The same weekend there was a national convention and a lot of the patrons stopped in to unwind after a long day of conferencing.  Well one particular gentleman was hanging out at the bar I was working and about 6’5” tall.  Well a few drinks later Mary came back to order another beverage from me and the tall guy happened to be there as well.  What I witnessed next I would never have imagined.  The tall guy was whispering in her ear and I could see how he was motioning his face to go in for a kiss, Mary would move her face and gently smile and this went on for a few minutes.  I guess she got tired of fighting because all of sudden they were making out! (tongue and all)  I could not believe this, as if this wasn’t bad enough they paused and went back at it again.  I know some of you are thinking maybe it was her husband, not at all this guy I had never seen before and he was wearing a badge from the conference (and if it was her husband she wouldn’t have been trying to resist).  So here Mary was a married woman flashing the bartender earlier and now making out with a stranger.  If her husband ever caught wind of this I’m sure there would be trust issues afterwards.

I understand that people have to get away from their families and let their hair down, but keep in mind that you’re married and don’t do things that will jeopardize your marriage.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: Grill Master.”

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: B-52

½ oz Kahlua

½ oz Baileys Irish Crème

½ oz Grand Marnier

Layer ingredients as listed and serve.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Bathroom Betty

So Betty was a gymnastics athlete and was having a slumber party with her girlfriends.  Well Betty had one too many and tried to make it to bathroom.  She was successful in making it there but slipped because the previous guy that used it had bad aim.  Betty’s prior gymnastics experience allowed her to manipulate her body in the position she’s in.  On top of being too intoxicated to stand, Betty decided that it was best to hang out on the toilet just in case…

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: B-52."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Help Yourself

Some of the things that people do are crazy, some are dangerous, and others are just downright retarded.  Well this story involves the latter, a guy who does something that I would never imagine someone would do.

                This guy isn’t worthy to give him a false name, because he practically walked in the establishment and maybe 15 minutes tops was escorted out.  So let me tell you why.  The bartender was busy at the time and in the midst of the commotion she sat the bottle of alcohol in the peanut rail (the area where drinks are made).  I will call this a “rookie” mistake because she just started working there and hadn’t been bartending long prior to this event.

                So this is where the retardedness (yes I said retardedness) comes in.  The bartender turned her back to ring up a drink or make another one while the bottle was still in the peanut rail.  This guy decided to take it upon himself to pour more liquor in his drink.  I guess she didn’t make it strong enough for him.  I saw this and couldn’t believe my eyes because I have never seen someone do such a stupid thing.  I ran and grabbed the bottle from him, took the drink, and had him escorted out for stupidity.  Meanwhile asked the bartender what she was thinking by leaving the bottle on the bar top like that.

                I understand that alcohol makes people do crazy things, but keep in mind, if you wouldn’t do it while you’re a guest at someone’s house it’s probably not a good idea to do it in public.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: Bathroom Betty”

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/