Wardrobe Malfunction

Everyone remembers the Super Bowl halftime show with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake where he rips her dress and reveals her breast.  They pawned it off as a “wardrobe malfunction,” if it was I don’t think Janet would have had her nipple covered with a silver star to match her dress.  This story involves like wardrobe malfunctions.

This story is about a bachelorette who thought it was a good idea to wear a strapless dress on her last night of fun.  It would be ok if she was just planning to have dinner, see a show, or something that didn’t involve a lot of movement.  Instead she decided to go dancing and consume large amounts of alcohol.  This is not a good combination while wearing a strapless dress (not that I know from experience).  But after I explain what happened you will agree with me too.

So after a few shots and mixed drinks she began to dance the night away with her friends.  After while her favorite song came on and she started jumping up and down.  At first she was able to manage her strapless dress while dancing, but soon after she said the hell with it and let it go for itself.  This is where the wardrobe malfunction occurs.   Since it didn’t have straps, as she jumped up and down it slipped further and further down until her breast were out.  The first time it happened one of her friends noticed it and quickly assisted her, but later on it happened again and she continued to jump up and down like nothing was wrong.  I guess she felt a cool breeze because she finally realized it and pulled her dress back up.  The funny thing is I see women all the time playing tug of war between their dress and their breast, and I always wonder why they wear those dresses if they’re so difficult to manage.  I know how aggravating it is to keep my pants up if I’m not wearing a belt so I can somewhat relate.

To the women who wear strapless dresses to go dancing, try and be more aware of the “girls” especially if you plan on consuming alcoholic beverages.  To the men, there’s no telling what you may see if you’re in a dance club and a woman is wearing a strapless dress.  Stay tuned tomorrow for part one of a three part series called “Bar Champs.”

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Scooby Snack

1 1/4 oz Cocunut Rum
3/4 oz Melon Liqueur
3/4 oz Pineapple Juice
1/2 oz Half and Half

Shake and strain ingredients.

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Wardrobe Malfunction."

Recipe of the Week: Royal Flush

1 oz Crown Royal
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Cranberry Juice

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Bar Champs."

A Penny for My Thoughts

As a bartender I have to deal with many different personalities, walks of life, backgrounds, etc.  In addition there are also people who understand and respect the service industry and those who do not.  This is particularly evident based on their tipping patterns.  I must admit that before I worked in the service industry, I was one of those kids who left penny tips and left notes that said, “Tip: Give better service.”  But those are childish actions and grown people shouldn’t behave in these manners.  Such is the case in this particular story.

It was near closing time and I had started on my closing duties so I wouldn’t be there late.  I was unaware that a guest was waiting to order a beverage, once I noticed I greeted him and completed his order.  I resumed my cleaning duties and circled back around to where I just served this gentleman.  As I was doing so I noticed that he left this nice, round, brown penny as a tip.  Already being disturbed from the shift this just capped off the night.  In frustration I flung the penny across the bar (in the opposite direction of the guest) and he knew that he left some BS because he immediately turned around.  He came back angrily at the bar and asked, “Are you throwing things at me?”  I quickly replied, “No I didn’t throw your penny at you, actually I flung it over there…”

He apparently thought it was rude because he requested a manager (I thought it was rude that he actually reached in his pocket and pulled out a penny).  I explained the situation to her and she spoke with him.  I liked this manager because she didn’t really take any stuff from guest, most of the time she had the employees back.  In this particular instance she had my back because she pretty much stated that, “You can’t leave a penny and not expect a reaction, and you would have been better off leaving nothing.”  He stormed off and I continued doing my closing duties.

For those of you who think leaving pennies or change that doesn’t add up to a dollar is funny or cute, just imagine your employer writing you a check for those same pennies or change.  If you decide to do so don’t get mad at the server or bartenders reaction.

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Pancakes With Syrup

3/4 oz Jameson or Irish Whiskey
3/4 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1 oz Orange Juice

Combine Irish Whiskey and Butterscotch Schnapps, shake and strain.  Consume shot and chase with orange juice.  Tastes just like pancakes with syrup!

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "A Penny for My Thoughts."

One in a Million

Every once in a while I get the opportunity to serve celebrities or people who are “well off.”  I have served famous NFL players, singers, rappers, wrestlers and a few others.  I have also served a few millionaires and had no clue until they cashed out with their black card.  This story is about one of those previous mentioned people.

On this particular day a group of business people attended the establishment.   They had just closed or acquired a big account so they were out celebrating.  They started out purchasing rounds and shots and progressed to larger purchases.  One of these purchases was a round for the whole establishment (bartenders included, too bad I couldn’t drink).  They must have landed a huge account because their tab was upwards of$700.00.  The greatest part of it all wouldn’t come until later (also the reason why I was so mad).

Well the night progressed and the group continued to dance and enjoy themselves.  What would occur next has never happened in all the years I have bartended.  I have received large tips before, $100 or maybe $200 on one tab.  The owner whipped out his black card, paid for the tab, and left everyone who was working that night a $1000.00 tip! (not a typo)  I was in awe and thoroughly surprised.  Do you want to know why?  Because I was not working that night! Unbelievable, the one night I was not working this happens.  The next day I come in, and everyone is telling me this story, you can imagine my frustration (that’s like rent money in one night).  However, whenever that amount of money is involved Uncle Sam has his hand out.  They didn’t have enough money to pay everyone out, so they had to cut checks.  As a result Uncle Sam took out his share and it grossed around $600.00 or so, that’s still a nice payday if you ask me.

So if you are a millionaire and plan on visiting our establishment, make sure I’m working next time I would greatly appreciate it.  But on a serious note, if I had it like that I would share the love in the same manner just to make someone’s day or week.  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Pancakes With Syrup."

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Toys for Tots

Tis the season for giving, being thankful, and spending time with family or loved ones.  It is also the season of helping others who are in need.  This story involves a charity event catered to help the “Toys for Tots” foundation.

Along with this time of year comes the company Christmas party.  This particular night I had the pleasure of working this company party slash charity event.  A few months prior a gentleman visited the establishment to see if it was large enough to host this event.  He seemed like an average guy, down to earth, and had a good personality.  So I had no reason to suspect anything otherwise from this event.  Oh what a surprise it would turn out to be.

Well the evening for the event came and two females came early to decorate and set up for the evening as well as the DJ.  No suspicion there that was pretty normal for an event.  When the guest list started to arrive was when I started to worry or question what the event “actually” was.  A few men arrived dressed rather “loudly” (for lack of better word) and after while I questioned the other bartender who was working with me.  I asked him, “Are you noticing that there are only men here?”  He replied, “Yeah that is kind of weird, maybe the women are on the way.”  At this point the only women there were the two females that set up.  Being a heterosexual male I began to get nervous (not because I’m homophobic or anything) but because this was around the time I started bartending and had never experienced anything like this before.  Before I knew it the whole bar was filled with men.  I mean wall to wall, I couldn’t even see the door at this point.

I was busy the other bartender was busy and everything was just chaotic.  The host of the party (the gentlemen I referred to earlier), was actually homosexual and I would have never guessed it in a million years.  He seemed like any other guy, until he was around his friends and at that point it was evident.  I must admit that I made great money that night and enjoyed interacting with them, it was a different experience and broadened my horizons (in terms of learning how to interact with various people).  But the most important thing about that night, they were able to raise a good amount of money and toys to benefit those less fortunate in the community.

Christmas is the time of giving, so keep in mind those who are less fortunate than we are and donate a toy or money to your local church or “Toys for Tots” foundation.  Also, there is no point of driving up your credit card debt to purchase Christmas presents.  They will love you the same whether you buy them a gift or not (it’s the thought that counts), and if they don’t they’re probably not a person you need in your life anyway.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "One in a Million."

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Girl Scout Cookie

½ oz Kahlua

½ oz Peppermint schnapps

½ oz Light crème d cocoa

Splash of half and half

Shake and strain. Can be served as a shot or over ice

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Toys for Tots."

The Bachelor

One thing that I find interesting is groups.  Whether it’s male or female, they comprise of about the same members.  A few are good looking, decent looking, and there is always the one that doesn’t look like they belong.  I have yet to understand these phenomena, maybe this is done to make the others look good.  For whatever reason, if you observe a group of friends this will typically be the case.  As is the case with the group discussed in this story.  Interesting enough this story involves two groups, one bachelorette group and one bachelor group (sounds like the makings of a good party).

I lied, it doesn’t involve the two groups as a whole, rather two members from these groups.  The first member is strangely enough the odd ball of the bachelorette group and the other is the bachelor himself.  When these two groups are in the same establishment something is destined to happen.  Before I get into the story, I want to talk about something I don’t understand about bachelorette groups.  Can someone explain to me why these parties parade around in penis paraphernalia? (feel free to leave comments)  I have seen straws, cups, veils, writing instruments, large blow up ones, if it can be made into one it’s on the market.  I just don’t understand the correlation between the two.  Is it because their getting married to one forever, and they have to surround themselves with fake ones?  Or is it foreshadowing their sex life after marriage?  The bachelor parties don’t parade around in vagina paraphernalia, cups, hats, coasters, etc. so why do the woman?  Hopefully someone can provide an adequate answer because I have no clue.  Enough about bachelorettes and their toys, let’s get back to the story.

We’ll call the female Betty (because she favored ugly Betty) she had a geeky, slim, appearance.  We’ll call the male Jack (just because) he was tall and had an athletic build.  Somehow Betty and Jack crossed paths and began dialoging. Jack by the time of this encounter was feeling pretty good (thanks to his bachelor buddies) so he was exploring all possible options.  By night’s end Betty was heavily intoxicated and her geeky innocent look proved to be facade.  She started seductively dancing on Jack flailing her hair around and making other sexually gestures.  Before I knew it they were making out in the corner.  What Betty did next I would never expect a complete stranger to do.  In the midst of their make out session, Betty slid her hands down Jacks pants and was fondling his genetalia.  I could not believe what I was seeing, they would pause for a few minutes and go back at it shortly after.  Here Jack was an “engaged” man, making out with a complete stranger and allowing her hands down his pants.

I understand these parties typically involve strippers and “one last night of fun” but try to be responsible while doing so.  You wouldn’t want to ruin your marriage before it got started.  Stay tuned on Monday for “The Recipe of the Week: Girl Scout Cookie.”

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Company Ink

One thing that I firmly believe in is not dipping my pen in company ink.  Doing so causes so many problems and greater issues if it doesn’t work out.  This story is an illustration of why I follow this general rule.

A fellow coworker failed to yield to this rule, understandably why, the female he was dating was attractive and had a nice physique.  However, as the old adage goes, everything that glitters is not gold.  This definitely applied to this female.  You would never think that she was slightly crazy, but I guess you never know until emotions get involved.

On this particular day my coworker and I were working at the same bar, this made witnessing this episode very easy.  We work long shifts and typically we eat before our shift begins so we won’t be starved out by night’s end.  My coworker ordered a burger for his lunch and “attempted” to eat it.  For whatever reason they were arguing and she was apparently pissed off based on actions.  What she did next I couldn’t believe and I don’t think my coworker could either.  His burger was near the corner of the bar, she angrily came and grabbed his burger, smashed it, and threw it away in the nearest trash can.  He was away at the time this happened, so when he came back he thought I had done something with it.  I replied, “Your girl came up and trashed it, look in the trash can and you’ll see.”  He was dumbfounded and quickly ordered another one because it was close to opening time.

He came back with his second burger and “attempted” to eat it near the corner of the bar again.  I was absolutely shocked at what his girlfriend did next.  It was funny but ridiculous at the same time.  Just as he pulled back the wrapper and was bringing it to his mouth, she appears out of nowhere and snatches it from his hands and throws it away in the same trash can.  She must have got a little mustard on her hands because she flicked the condiments at him.  So you can imagine that he was pissed, staring at the juicy meat, and smelling the fresh grilled onions just to have it snatched out his hands.  He tried to get a manager involved, but what could he do about it?  The third time is charm, he ordered another burger but this time he ate it where she could not obstruct his consumption.

This event validated standing by my “No company ink” policy.  The last thing I need is being stressed out at work then having to go home and still be stressed out.  Some people have found success with dating someone from work and all I can say is congratulations.  Personally I have witnessed more failure than I have success with dating someone from work.  Just a word of advice, stay away from dipping your pen in company ink, or letting someone dip their pen your company ink for that matter.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "The Bachelor."

             These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Chocolate Chip Cookie

1 oz Frangelico

1 oz Lite Cream de Cocoa

Splash of half & half If consuming as a shot, fill with half and half if consuming as a drink

Freeloader

One thing that bartenders have to deal with on a daily basis is people who try to get extra alcohol or free drinks.  You will be amazed at the tactics people try to get something for free.  In this story I discuss a few of these tactics and my reactions to them.

My favorite and most common tactic is the good ol’ “I don’t taste any alcohol in my drink.”  People often think that bars water down the liquor, I’m here to attest that out of all the bars I have worked at (which is quite a few) I’ve never witnessed this practice.   Depending on the mood I’m in depicts my reaction to this classic.  Generally I say, “I’m sorry if you would like to buy another shot I will gladly add it.”  Other times I simply ignore them and continue helping another guest, which usually results in the person walking off or something.  If I’m in a not caring mood I will fill their cup with as much alcohol as it will take, and then dare them to complain about that drink.

Another tactic is people will order too much of something and then say the wanted a different number.  For instance, someone will order six shots and then say, “I only wanted five.”  They do this in hopes that I will say, “Oh I’m sorry, I’ve already made it so you can still have it.” Yeah right, I ask them if they still want it and if they say no I simply throw it away.

Then there are women and their tactics.  They may work to get you out of a speeding ticket, but to get free alcohol it doesn’t work (with me at least).  I watched this particular woman before she approached the bar, she had pulled her shirt further down revealing her zebra print bra (which wasn’t attractive in the least bit) and I wondered what she was doing.  She approaches the bar and asks if I could add more alcohol to her friends drink because it wasn’t strong enough, the whole time she is leaning forward trying to show her cleavage and zebra print.  I thought it was pretty funny and politely said no and suggested she order her drink with a splash of mixer next time.  She stomped off and pulled her shirt back up.

This next one is probably the most extreme I’ve ever seen in all my years of bartending.  One of my coworkers was pretty busy and for some reason instead of placing the liquor bottle back in the well, she placed it in the peanut well (the place where the drinks are made).  She turned her back to ring the order and this guy decides that she had not poured enough alcohol, he was brave enough to take the bottle and add more alcohol to the drink himself.  What would posses someone to do that I will never know, but as a result he was quickly escorted out and banned from the establishment.

If you are a person who tries to get free alcohol, one tactic that I know for sure works is being a good tipper.  Because if you are looking out for me I will in turn look out for you (I may even buy you a shot or two).  But just trying to get free alcohol with nothing in return never works on me.  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Chocolate Chip Cookie."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Safety First

Bartenders have many responsibilities besides taking orders and mixing drinks.  This also includes ensuring the safety of our guest during their visit at our establishment.  It is interesting because people tend to put safety on the back burner once they become intoxicated.  This particular story involves instances where people have done unsafe things due to intoxication.

The first instance involves a guy and a beer bottle.  I want to make a point that we utilize plastic glassware (if that makes sense) because people tend to drop things and plastic is more durable.  This particular guy was drinking a beer and somehow it just fell out of his hand.  As if gravity had made the beer twelve pounds instead of twelve ounces.  I believe it was mostly full because it made a big mess and beer and glass was everywhere.  I will assume he could not afford a new beer because he picked up the bottom portion of the beer bottle that was still intact and drunk out of it.  I could not believe what I was seeing, his friend yelled at him not to do that and he gracefully put it back on the floor.

The second instance involves a guy and two stories up.  This event did not happen inside my establishment but in the same complex.  The story was this guy was upset because he could not go inside another bar due to dress code or something.  He told the bouncer that if he did not let him in he was going to jump off the balcony.  The bouncer still refused service, so the man jumped off the balcony that was two stories up from the lower level.  He ended up splitting his head open and had to be rushed to the emergency room.  When I finally was able to view the scene there was a big pool of blood where he landed.

The third instance involves a woman and a beer bucket.  She and her friends had finished a bucket of beer and were casually socializing.  But this particular female must have consumed too many beers or shots because she decided to use the beer bucket as her own personal trash can.  Mind you there was a “real” trash can like five feet away that I’m sure she could have made it to.  She vomited for a while and tried to continue socializing as if she had not done anything (with the bucket sitting on the bar top).  I summoned a manager, explained the situation, and she was casually escorted out.

I have tried to understand the behaviors of people while they are intoxicated and I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible.  There is no telling how much they have consumed prior or what is going through their minds at that particular time.  If you plan on drinking and having a good time, please keep in mind the safety of yourself and others.  Stay tuned on tomorrow for a story called "Freeloader."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Carrot Cake

½ oz Goldshlager/Goldshlick

½ oz Baileys Irish Creme

½ oz Hazelnut Liqueur

Layer ingredients

Up and Arms

This story begins as any normal shift does, popping bottles and mixing alcoholic beverages.  It was a fairly slow night so it made observing the behaviors of others easy.  I had consumed plenty of water which in turn made my visits to the restroom quite frequent.  This story involves one woman, we’ll call her Sarah.  Sarah was out with two of her friends having a girl’s night out.  They were probably in their latter thirties early forties in age.  It is amazing what people do when alcohol is involved.

On one particular return trip from the restroom, Sarah stops me and is holding out her hands palms facing up.  I had a puzzled look on my face and asked what she needed.  I am the type of person who doesn’t like to be touched by strangers and try to return the favor to others.  So while she had her hands out I was immediately hesitant to give her my hands.  It caught me off guard and just out of a sheer reaction provided her my hands.  This was a total mistake because I would never expect someone to do what she did next.  Susan pulled me towards her and began groping my arms as if she was giving me a pat down or something.  In total shock I pulled away and kindly asked her what in the world she was doing.  She had a seductive look about her face and just smiled, I felt violated and did the best I could to sanitize my arms especially after what I saw shortly after.

After Susan groped me I began paying particular attention to her location so I could stay away as far as possible.   While doing so, I noticed a white bandage on her arm as if she had just given blood, had surgery, or something else.  I was even more distraught then I was before and felt even more violated.  What made the situation even worse was that every so often Susan would ask if she could touch my arms again.  I wanted to tell her what was really on my mind but refrained and kindly told her no.  I guess Susan had a thing for muscles because a gentleman with a similar physique soon appeared and Susan was on him like white on rice.  All I could do was shake my head and be glad that her attention was diverted to him.

                Some people are the touchy feely type and that’s just their nature, but keep in mind that not everyone likes to be touched by strangers.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Carrot Cake.”

                These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Just When You Think...

A bartender has many responsibilities, these include maintaining a clean and safe working environment, making alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, serving guest, and few others.  But the one quality that every good bartender should posses is being a good listener.  Often times I write about funny, weird, or just downright unbelievable things, but this story is on the more serious touching side and I hope everyone that reads this will take this story to heart.  This story involves a man we’ll call him Steve, he is someone who was doing the best he could to make ends meet.

Bartenders are sometimes considered to be the local free psychologist, because people just need someone to talk to and listen to their problem or situation.  Steve was one of those people and I happen to be the psychologist on duty.  Honestly, I don’t mind listening because I have learned a lot about myself and life lessons just from hearing other people’s problems and issues.  Steve was married and had a baby on the way.  I can tell this family was dedicated to providing because his wife worked until the day she went into labor, she was actually at work when her water broke and was back at work two days later.  Steve worked long hours to provide for his new family and never complained about his line of work.  On one particular day Steve came in and was walking with a slight limp, I asked what was wrong and he replied that his foot was swollen.  Although this was true, Steve still attended work and stood on that foot for at least six hours.  I recommended for him to visit the hospital in the event something was wrong, Steve took my advice and attended the hospital after his shift.

A few days later Steve came back in except this time he was on crutches.  Apparently he went to the hospital so I asked what the doctor said.  Prior to this incident Steve was on antibiotics for another condition, well Steve ran out and as a result some of the illness was still lingering.  Sometimes bad luck is worse than no luck at all, because Steve cut his foot and probably didn’t treat it correctly because the cut ended up getting infected.  The infection is what caused his foot to swell.  Well it turned out to develop something worse than a mere infection.  Because he wasn’t on the antibiotics his previous illness led to the infection becoming gangrene.  As if this wasn’t bad enough, the doctors told him that they would have to amputate his infected toes because the gangrene had spread too far.  I watch a lot of discovery channel, and I remembered a show where doctors had used leaches to restore circulation, so I suggested he check into this as an alternative.  Unfortunately the doctors informed him that procedure wouldn’t help and he would have to amputate soon so the gangrene wouldn’t spread further.  Throughout all of this Steve continued to work (on crutches might I add) because he knew he had a family to support and unemployment wouldn’t suffice.  I asked Steve what he going to do after the surgery, he replied “I’ll be back at work the next day.”  I was just amazed at this man’s strength, determination, and dedication.  All I could do was feel bad, because here I was complaining about the little stuff that was going on in my life, and this man was about to have his toes amputated and still dedicated to supporting his family.  It made me realize just how fortunate and blessed I was and not to take things for granted.  We have been conditioned to take the things we have for granted, this includes our employment, loved ones, possessions, even down to our bodily extremities (arms, legs, etc.) It is not until these things are taken away from us that we realize how fortunate we are to have them.

Just when you think your situation is bad, there is always someone out there in a worse situation than yours.  Keep this in mind when you face life’s trials and don’t take anything for granted, because one minute it could be there and the next minute it’s gone.  Appreciate life and the little things it has to offer, and don’t make fun of other peoples misfortunes try helping them instead.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "Up and Arms."

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Tootsie Roll

1 ¼ oz Kahlua

¾ oz Raspberry Schnapps

Splash of orange juice

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Just When You Think."

Way Too Much

This story has the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples” but by night’s end took a horrible right turn.  I don’t think the best NASCAR driver in the world could have completed this turn.  This story involves two women, one we’ll call Sloppy Sue (if you have read Real Life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde you’ll see why) and her friend. 

Sue and company attended the establishment seeking to have a fun evening, before they would make it back home this would all change.  Sue and her friend started out drinking the special and progressed to mixed shots.  They both were in their mid to latter thirties and weren’t expected to behave or end up like just turning twenty-one year olds.  But nevertheless I guess we all have to let our hair down sometimes (she would later need hers held up).  Of course with two fairly attractive females comes the group of males that want to buy them drinks. 

So how does this story have the makings of a repeat “Buttery Nipples?”  Well let me explain, I knew something interesting was about to happen when Sue ordered a cherry bomb for herself.  I made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  Traditionally people leave the tip on the bar top or hand it to me personally.  Sue had a better idea of which I wasn’t mad at her for.  She waves a dollar around and pretends to hand it to me, I reach for it, she snatches it back and proceeds to place it her cleavage.  I had a puzzled look until she leaned forward as to instruct me to retrieve it, so I did what any normal guy would, I asked her to kindly take it out of there because I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.  Yeah right!  I was in there so fast, you would have thought I was digging for gold.  She smiled, walked away, and then consumed her beverage.  That event changed my night and if nothing else happened I would have went home happy.  But that wasn’t the case, Sue came back a little while later and ordered another cherry bomb for herself.  I followed the same procedure, made the drink, took payment, and gave Sue her change.  I was thinking to myself, “Man it would be interesting if Sue did the same thing again.”   To my surprise, sure enough Sue put another dollar in her cleavage.  Unfortunately this story doesn’t have a happy ending for Sue or me for that matter.

Around 12 o’clock that night, a customer comes up to me and says, “That lady over there is passed out, I’ve tried to wake her up but she hasn’t moved.”  I peek over there and a woman is slumped over with her head on her forearms, I run to grab a manager to investigate the situation further.  While the manager is in route I’m looking at this woman and all of a sudden I see her vomit.  I asked the customers I was serving to confirm and they did.  This lady vomited for five minutes straight and I was just wondering where the manager was.  He finally arrived with a cleanup crew, and proceeded to escort the woman out.  I finally was able to see who the woman was. Can you take a wild guess at who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue.  Needless to say that she was no longer attractive, and all I could think was “Oh my gosh, that’s cherry bomb lady.”  Oh that’s not the end of the story it gets a little better.

About an hour later one of the female bartenders’ left for the restroom, she immediately came back and said, “I can’t go in there yet because cops are in there.”  Apparently someone had passed out “on the toilet” and made a huge mess and wasn’t responding to coming out.  The cops were phoned in and a stretcher requested.  This lady had consumed so much that she literally wasn’t able to function and the EMS had to escort her out on a stretcher.  Once again guess who it was?  Yes, Sloppy Sue!  I could not believe it because based on what I served her, she shouldn’t have been that intoxicated.  But you never know how much people consume prior to visiting your establishment.  What do you think about people that don't know their limits?  Feel free to leave your comments.

No one should drink until they are so intoxicated that they pass out and can’t control their bodily functions.  It is unattractive, puts your friends in a tough place, not to mention dangerous to your health.  There’s nothing wrong with having a good time just make sure to be safe.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Tootsie Roll.”

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Declined

This story is interesting in two ways, they will be revealed later on.  This particular story involves a married woman and karma (I understand some of you don’t believe in karma).  I do believe in the old saying, “What goes around comes around.”  The female in this story, we’ll call her Susan will believe in it too after what she experienced.

Susan approached the bar during a busy time, I acknowledged her and said, “I’ll be with you shortly.”  She nodded and continued to wait.  In a moments time I took her drink order along with a few others and proceeded to make them.  As soon as I was making her beverage the other bartender asked her if she needed anything, instead of saying “No, I’ve been helped.” She replies, “Yes, all I want is a captain and coke.”  This wasn’t enough so she added, “I’ve been waiting for a drink for twenty minutes.”  Keep in mind that I had just took her drink order and was about to make it.  Not only this, I knew for sure that she had not been waiting twenty minutes.  Neither of us is that slow to where we couldn’t have taken her order in twenty minutes time.  Along with her obscene remark she requested additional alcohol to remedy her complaint.  As I stated before, what goes around comes around, and did it ever come around.

As the night progressed she added drinks to her tab and later decided to close out.  This is where the story truly begins.  Upon attempting to close the tab Susan’s card was declined.  You should have seen the grin on my face, I took so much pleasure in telling her as loudly as possible (without being obvious) that her card was declined.  After all the complaining and rudeness here she was with a declined credit card (I told you what goes around comes around).  The story gets better, Susan comes back with another card stating she just activated it and that it should work.  I ran this card and guess what?  It was declined too!  So I got the pleasure of telling Susan that this card was declined as well, oh what are the odds?  Susan goes off to call the bank to get things straightened out and after about thirty minutes she comes back.  She says, “Ok, I just got off the phone with the bank, they released the block and it should go through.”  I attempted to run her card again and yeah you guessed right it was declined again.  At this point I can admit that it wasn’t fun to tell her it was declined again, I slightly turned around and shook my head no.  She outburst, “What the “F” I just talked to them and they said it was fine?”  Susan began to slightly sob and got teary eyed, I kind of felt bad for her (but not really since all the crap she had put us through).  I guess Susan was tired of the shenanigans because she came back the fourth time with cash.

So here’s the interesting part, this story took place the same night as “Jack Be Nimble, Jack Be Quick” and “A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street.”  That night was full of stories and interesting happenings.  To all the Susan’s of the world, be nice to people because you never know when you’ll need them again.  Staty tuned tomorrow for a story called "Way Too Much."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Koolaid

¾ oz Amaretto

¾ oz Melon liqueur

½ oz Southern Comfort

Fill with cran, shake and strain over ice

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Declined."

A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street

This story begins as soon as I clock in to work.  It was one of those nights that were busy from beginning to end.  I didn’t have a chance to put on my work shirt all the way because people were in need of beverages.  Along with being busy comes people who are highly impatient and this is where it all begins.

I was actually having a good fairly productive day, so I was in a good mood when I arrived for work.  This all changed in a matter of minutes.  I’m at one end of the bar helping customers and this one particular impatient guy was screaming at the top of his lungs “Hey, hey!” Not only was this rude but it’s a sure way to get ignored.  I looked down at him and gave the dirtiest look I could muster up and continued helping the person I was presently with.  I asked a fellow bartender to go help that guy because if I went down there I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty.  He was busy also and wasn’t able to serve him, so guess who got stuck with having to do so, me.  I proceed to greet him and he immediately turns around to ask other people what they want (as if he didn’t have enough time to do so already).  So I asked a female who was beside him what she would like, I made her drinks and while I was doing so he continues to yell “Hey, hey!”  I guess they were part of the same group because he paid (well at least he attempted to pay).  It takes a lot from a guest to upset me, but what this guy did instantly pushed that button.  I’ve experienced a lot of things but never this before.  This guy handed me a twenty dollar bill with his pointer finger and thumb and had his middle finger sticking up at the same time.  All I could do was gently step back, take a deep breath, and kind of laugh because I didn’t really want to do or say what first came to mind.  The female must have seen something on my face because she almost instantly ordered another beer to kind of distract me from the situation.  I told “her” the total and the other guy starts mouthing off, “Oh is it free? You didn’t take my money so it must be.”  Once again, a deep breath and a slight chuckle were needed.  She snatched the twenty from him and paid the difference herself.  If you were in that same situation what would you do?  Feel free to leave comments in the comment box.

Needless to say I’m glad I didn’t have to serve him again because there’s no telling how it would have ended.  My mother always told me to never be rude to your doctor, barber, someone who signs your checks, or someone who prepares your food/drinks (you can imagine why).  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Koolaid."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate

10.) Grabbing drinks before we hand them to you

It is so aggravating when I’m making drinks and people start grabbing them before I finish (i.e putting a straw in, garnish, etc.)

9.)  Single ordering

“Let me get a…” I make the drink, “and a…” I make the drink, “oh and a…”

8.)  Saying you’ll tip later

Nine times out of ten they never do

7.)  Complaining about drink

Bars don’t water down alcohol (at least most bars) and if you want a strong drink order something on the rocks or on the rocks with a splash

6.)  Not knowing what you want before you approach the bar

It makes our job so much easier when you know what you want

5.)  Saying “Just make me something” or “Give me a beer”

We don’t know what you like or don’t like, and most bars have more than one beer, so saying give me a beer is like going to a car dealership and saying “Give me a car.”

4.)  People who think the garnishes are a buffet

Every once in a while people will partake of the olives or cherries as if they were eating popcorn or something

3.)  People who intentionally order the wrong drink

Occasionally people will order the wrong drink in hopes that I will still give them the wrong drink anyway.  Because they know it’s going to be thrown out

2.)  Yelling "Hey" or whistling to get our attention
It is so rude when people do this, "Excuse me" or something to that effect is more polite

1.) No tip or insufficient tip

Bartenders work off tips, so when you don’t tip it affects our well being.  Insufficient tip is almost as bad as no tip (15 -20% is  customary).  If you ever wonder why you got bad service or your second beverage wasn’t as good as the first?  If you didn’t tip that’s probably why   

Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "A Big Bird, Not on Sesame Street."

Recipe of the Week: Surfer on Acid

3/4 oz Jagermeister
3/4 oz Coconut rum
Splash of pineapple

Shake and strain

Stay tuned on Friday for "The Top Ten Things Bartenders Hate"

Jack Be Nimble, Jack Be Quick

This story begins as any normal shift does, popping bottles and mixing alcoholic beverages.  It was a fairly busy night and made temperature conditions pretty warm.  As a result I was drinking lots of water to stay hydrated.

At this one particular hour I had already consumed plenty of water and was in desperate need to visit the restroom.  Around the same time a crowd a people came in and I was unable to do so.  After about an hour I absolutely had to take five.  I wasn’t ready for what I was about to see next.

The instant I walked into the restroom the attendant says to me, “Check that guy out in the stall, I think he’s masturbating.”  I didn’t believe him at first, but after I handled my business I observed what he was referring to.  This had to be the funniest sight ever, this guy is in the stall feet are rocking, head was bobbing up and down, and no sounds of water resonating.  Needless to say I couldn’t believe this guy was in a public restroom doing this.  So after while we had to get this guy out of there, security came and tried to get him out and he told them, “Hold on a second I got this (No joke).”  So when that failed a member of management was summoned who had a key to the stall and was able to open the stall and force him out.  By that time he had everything put away (thank goodness) and tried to deny what he was doing.

As with the previous story (Not a Crackhead, but Crackish) if you are in need to support a habit and it shouldn’t be done in public, try and wait till you get home because it’s embarrassing when you get caught.  Stay tuned on Monday for a recipe called "Surfer on Acid."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Not a Crackhead, but Crackish

This story begins as any normal shift does, popping bottles and mixing alcoholic beverages.  This particular night was a little slow I believe it was a Thursday.  This made it conducive for patrons to meet, greet, and be sociable.

Two gentlemen had been there for a while drinking the special and later that night two females walked in and sat at the other end of the bar (they had “Flirty Frans” written all over them).  If you guessed these men bought the ladies a round of drinks you were right.  After purchasing the round they proceeded to introduce themselves and this is where the story truly begins.   To the women’s credit I “think” they purchased one round for themselves, the men hoping to get lucky bought the rest.  Since the bar was slow I was able to witness the courtship and buying behaviors of the men.

As the night progressed the group became more intoxicated and with drinking comes frequent visits to the restroom.  Men and women rarely go to the restroom at the same time (or leave for it rather).  So when this occurred it kind of stood out to me, two of the members left the bar and proceed towards the restroom.   I was not expecting the events that were about to happen.  The group went from four, to two, and then to one.  One of the men had just purchased a round for the group but all of a sudden none of them were there.  The female he was talking to came back and said she had to go because her friend was kicked out.  He gave me the what just happened look and was mad because he had bought all those rounds and wasn’t going to reap any benefits.  Little did he know that his friend was kicked out too.  After waiting a while for his friend to return he left to go find him and learned of the news.  He came back to bar and stated, “My friend was kicked out.”  I was puzzled as well because just like him I saw the two leave for the restroom.  So what “really” happened?

I proceeded to investigate by asking the MOD (manager on duty) why they were kicked out.  People are kicked out for various reasons, wanting to fight, overly drunk, throwing up, being rude to others, etc.  I have never heard this reason in all my years of bartending.  I guess alcohol wasn’t getting the job done fast enough for the other male so he decided to up the ante.  Instead of going into the mens restroom he was in the womens restroom.  He was attempting to do a line of cocaine with the other female.  He almost got away with but the MOD happened to visit the restroom shortly after they did.  He noticed that the male wasn’t in the restroom and proceeded to check the womens.  While doing so he looked in between the cracks of the stall and witnessed the male preparing his drugs for consumption.  He escorted the two out without calling the police (fortunate enough for them).  After learning of this I informed the other gentleman that his friend was indeed kicked out.  He asked me why and all I could tell him was that he would have to ask his friend. 

Drug use typically leads to heavier stronger drug use.  If you have the slightest problem with illegal drug use, seek help because there is plenty available and will be worth it in the long run.  Just words to the wise, if you are going to use illegal drugs in public do so in the proper restroom (although you shouldn’t use illegal drugs at all).  Stay tuned tomorrow for  "Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick." It's similar to this story in that it occurs in a restroom as well.

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Johnny Vegas

3/4 oz Patron Silver
3/4 oz Watermelon Pucker
Shake and Strain
Top with a splash of Red Bull

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Not a Crackhead, but Crackish."

Drag Racing

It is interesting how American culture has evolved and now things are socially acceptable that were not ten to twenty years ago.  This includes homosexualality, gay marriages, public displays of affection, etc.  Another one of these socially acceptable nuances is men dressing in drag.  Rupaul revolutionized this phenomenon and now men feel comfortable doing so as well.

On this particular night a group of women (or at least what I thought was a group of women) visited the establishment for a “girls” night out.  As I greeted them one of the “women” stood out.  She was slightly taller than the others and had more of a masculine look to her.  I figured she was in drag and served the ladies as I would any other group.  One thing happened that made me laugh to myself and took me back.  I kind of knew the woman was in drag, but I wasn’t expecting what happened next.  She paid for the round of drinks, but when she opened her wallet to pay with her card the ID was visible and it was a picture of a man.  I looked back up at her and thought to myself “wow.”  I don’t have anything against men who dress in drag, but sometimes their drag looks better than their natural self.  This particular case was the opposite.  I’m sure some of you have seen the shows where they have the audience pick out the males in drag from the real females, this woman would have been easy to pick out of the lineup.

For men who dress up in drag, prepare yourself as a woman would and carry yourself in the same manner.  Although this does pose a problem for men when you can’t really tell, with that being said be honest and tell the man if are approached the truth.  Stay tuned on Monday for a recipe called “Johnny Vegas.”

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

I"m a Survivor

One thing that I enjoy about my job is meeting new people.  Over the years I’ve met celebrity singers, rappers, NFL players, millionaires, retired wrestlers, young people, old people, and just people from all different walks of life.

On this particular day I met a couple from out of town who were visiting to get away for the weekend and attend a concert.  They had teenage children and were recently married.  We’ll call them Jack and Jill.  They stopped by our establishment for some pre-gaming before the concert.  Jack had domestic beers while Jill had a glass of wine.  She allowed Jack to drink more because she had to drive to the concert.  This couple was interesting for a few different reasons.  While engaging in conversation I learned a lot about them.  For instance, Jack loved the band they were going to see while Jill had never heard of them (I had never heard of them either).  The one thing that stuck with me about this couple was that Jill was a cancer survivor (I won’t disclose what kind in respect of her privacy).  After hearing this I gave her a big high five and congratulations.  It also touched me because a lot of my family members have passed due to cancer and she was able to overcome it.  So in honor of all cancer survivors I salute and commend you on winning your battle against cancer.

Since I had built somewhat of a bond with this couple, they decided to come back after the concert.  Jill loved the concert although she had never heard of them and now they have a new fan.  I took care of them until they departed and wished the couple a safe trip back home.

Some people are given second chances at life and others are not as fortunate.  With this in mind you should live your life to the fullest everyday because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.  Don’t hold grudges and forgive those who have done harm to you and ask for forgiveness from those you have done harm to.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "Drag Racing."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Recipe of the Week: Werthers Original

3/4 oz Crown Royal
3/4 oz Butterscotch Schnapps

Shake and strain

A Late Night Trip to Hawaii

This story begins as any normal shift does, popping bottles and mixing alcoholic beverages.  Except this one involves an estranged cruise worker from Hawaii.  She was a Caucasian female, but what made her stand out from the crowd were her thick blonde Rasta dreadlocks.   She must have been drinking from the time she stepped off the boat because she was fairly tipsy by the time I served her.

Business was kind of slow which made engaging in conversation with her more possible.  I knew she was going to be a hand full from how she initially came off.  After a few more drinks she stated, “I want to take you home, and you should come with me now.”  I replied, “I’m working I can’t just leave to go with you.” Hoping this would deter her advances, little did I know that this would make things worse.  As the night progressed she continued her advances and I continued to decline.  I thought I caught a break when I saw her leave, is that saying ever true when they say that it’s a small world.

As I stated before that it was a slow night, so this lead to me getting off early.  I wanted to consume an adult beverage, but decided to visit another establishment in the event she circled back around.  This plan backfired rather quickly because something happened that was unexpected.  As I sat drinking my beverage I felt a tap on my shoulder and guess who it was?  Yes, good ol’ Hawaii.  I didn’t notice she was there because it was rather crowded and I just assumed that I was safe.  Boy was I ever wrong.  I no longer had the bar protecting me from her or a way to find an excuse not to talk to her.  She eventually went off into the crowd and I hung out until the bar closed.

I should have left early to avoid all possible episodes from occurring.  But as a result of staying I ran into her again outside of the establishment.  This time she was very forceful in getting me to take her home.  I had consumed a few beverages which clouded my better judgment (for the moment anyway).  So I obliged to her request and proceeded to my vehicle.  She was sloppy drunk by this time (which is a major turn off for me) and I proceeded to leave the area.  I’ve heard horror stories of women crying rape after being intoxicated and waking up in a strangers bed.  So being aware of this I asked her plainly, “Are you sure you want to do this?” She replied, “Absolutely, I’m sure.”  I should have recorded her saying that just to cover my assets.  I really didn’t feel comfortable with this situation, I had already gone too far by letting her into my vehicle, now I’m responsible for this drunk chick (who I didn’t even know her name).  Finally coming to my right mind, I decided to take her home, make sure she got in safe and departed to my own dwelling. 

This situation could have gone a few different ways, but I’m glad I made the better judgment and not subdue myself to her advances.  Stay tuned for Mondays recipe of the week, "Werthers Original."

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

Multiple Faces in the Same Places

Another thing that I find interesting is witnessing people that are “playing the field.”  It’s funny and interesting at the same time.  It’s funny because just last week I saw this male/female with one person and now it’s someone completely different.  It’s interesting because I’m put in a position to act is if I never saw anything and greet them the same way I did the other companion the previous week.  This one guy who was a regular (I’m not exaggerating) brought in a different female every week and sometimes two different ones in the same week.  When he finally came by himself I had to ask him what his secret was.  He shared that he was a member of a dating website (must’ve been match.com…inside joke).

 I know, I know, women reading are like, “typical male” however I have witnessed females who are just as bad.  Just recently, I witnessed a female who met a guy at the bar from a dating website, I heard through the grapevine that he wasn’t interested in her so I guess it didn’t work out.  Because she was back there the NEXT night with some other guy.  I was like damn that dating website must be pretty popular.  One thing that is worst than witnessing someone with different companions is witnessing the behavior of someone on Saturday night, and then seeing that same person in church Sunday morning (I guess they have to repent).

Ok so now the moment you’ve been waiting for, what’s the rest of the Asian Persuasion story?  As I’ve discussed seeing people with different companions, guess who was one the guilty parties?  If you guessed Mary you’re absolutely wrong!  It was one of the male friends that she was making out with.  I distinctly remember him because he was an older gentleman with the signature golf bunker hair cut (you know the one where it’s bald on top with hair going around the sides).  Also because I remember asking myself how is she remotely attracted to him? (For those reading one of my stories for the first time, go back and read “Asian Persuasion” and you’ll understand)  Anyway, he was back again with a different female whom looked nothing like Mary.  So at this point I couldn’t decide who was worse, the friend or Mary?  Those who have read both stories, what do you think?  You can leave your response in the comment box.

If you plan to date multiple people remember two things, one take them to different establishments because you never know when the bartender or whomever may slip and call the person a different name.  Two, dating multiple people can become expensive, so take them somewhere inexpensive on the first date so you won’t be mad if it doesn’t work out (try a coffee date).  Stay tuned tommorrow for a story called "A Late Night Trip to Hawaii."

These stories are real accounts, so remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home.  Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection.  For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others.  The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.