Recipe of the Week: Lindsay Lohan

The recipe for the Lindsay Lohan is a red headed slut with coke.

Red Headed Slut

1 oz Jagermeister
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Cranberry Juice

Lindsay Lohan

Combine ingredients above, shake and strain and add a splash of coke on top.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Act of Kindness."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

We Are All Brothers

These two brothers went out to celebrate the last day of being single.  The groom is the guy in the white shorts and the best man is the guy in blue.  After being brought back home by the limo, they staggered in doing the drunk person lean (you know the I hold you up and you hold me up walk).  Well the bestman was trying to get his brother to the bed, as you can see they never made it there.  One of the warmest parts on a mans body is his crotch area, we sometimes tend to sleep with our hands down there.  One of the other groomsman thought it would be funny to pose these two in such a position except in the others crotch.  I can only imagine what their reaction was when they woke up, or what the best man thought when he realized it was larger that normal.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Lindsay Lohan."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Times Have Changed

In this story I’ll first take you back a few years to the 80’s and 90’s and bring you to the 2000’s.  You’ll understand what I mean by the end of the post.

I am a product of the 80’s so that’s all I can relate to, but I’ve heard stories from parents and grandparents of how things used to be.  For instance, the telephone, my grandparents didn’t have a telephone and when they finally got one it was one of those that you had to turn the handle on the side and be connected to an operator.  My parents had rotary dial phones (I remember those myself).  This brings me to the touch tone phone and the cell phone era.

I remember when there was no call waiting and all you heard was a busy signal.  You had to call over and over until you reached the person.  What about when the answering machine first came out?  Do you remember when call waiting first came out and you could finally talk as long as you want and not miss calls?  Oh here you go, how about *69? It was short lived but it still was a cool feature to have.  Then I remember when the cordless phone emerged and you didn’t need that 10 foot cord to go from room to room.

Ah yes, the cell phone.  My first cell phone was straight analog, all you could do was dial numbers and talk.  Nowadays you can practically deliver a baby with your cell phone (probably could with the face to face chat).  All of this brings me to the point of my story, one night at work I realized just how far we’ve come with technology and everything else.  I also remember how if you wanted to speak to someone, you had to ask what time they were going to be home so you could call them.  It used to be the first contact with someone after you exchange numbers is a phone call.  Nowadays it’s probably a text (I know I’m guilty of this).  But what I heard/saw this night took the first contact to another level.  This guy was speaking with this lady and instead of exchanging numbers they exchanged names?  But here’s why they did this, after the exchange occurred the guy said, “Facebook me.”  No longer is the first contact the phone or cellular device it’s evolving to social media!  Who would have ever thought people would be exchanging names instead of numbers?

Stay tuned on tomorrow for “What Happened?: We’re All Brothers”

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38


These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: White Gummy Bear

1 1/2 oz Cherry Vodka
3/4 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Pineapple Juice
Splash of Sprite

Combine ingredients in a shaker (except for sprite) shake and strain, top with sprite.

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38
Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Times Have Changed."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Rock a Bye Baby

John here was supposed to make a beer run and pick up some more snacks from the grocery store.  He managed to make it to the store but didn’t manage to make it back home.  After the beer ran out everyone was wondering what happened to John so they could continue the party.  Well as you can see John never made it from the grocery store.  He picked up a case of beer, chips, and some snacks, but when he reached the checkout counter he forgot his wallet.  To spare himself further humiliation and another trip back to the store, John decided it was best to camp out in one of the grocery baskets until the party was over.  After everyone sobered up they searched and found him like this (ashy knee caps and all).

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: White Gummy Bear."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Something In The Air

It is so funny how when the weather changes and one day of sun causes people to break out their tank tops, sandals, shorts, miniskirts, and halter tops.  On this particular night there must’ve been something in the air because the women were in rare form and I’ll explain shortly.

The first thing that struck me as being odd was the attire of women on this particular night.  It was somewhat chilly and had rained but not warm enough for women to wear what they had on.  I mean there were miniskirts, shirts that had their breast hanging out, skirts that looked like a werewolf clawed them across the chest and revealed everything, see through tops and the list goes on and on.  By no means am I complaining the eye candy was in abundance but for that time of year it was just strange.

So that was the first clue that something was in the air, the second occurrence was how they were acting.  I must provide a disclaimer for the next piece because I can’t really edit what this woman said to me because it was so powerful that I had no clue how to respond and I want you to understand how I felt when she said it.  So this woman attended the establishment with her husband for a date night.  They ordered a couple of beers and proceeded to a table, to make a long story short after a few shots and more beer she became more vocal about her feelings.  Keep in mind that she was married, on one particular visit to order a drink she boldly says, “If I wasn’t married and had four kids, I would fuck the shit out of you!”  How do you respond to that? How would you respond to that? (feel free to leave your comments) All I could think of to say was, “Thank You?” I’ve been told a lot of things but that threw me for a big loop.  As if that wasn’t enough and the night progressed even more stuff happened.

So the next thing that happened was a co-worker of mine was given a number.  She came up to the bar and said, “I know that I may not have a chance but I wanted to give you my number anyway.”  Who says that with such confidence?  That wasn’t the end of the shenanigans, later on that night a woman gave me her number too!  I asked my co-worker, “What in the world is going on tonight?”  All he could say was, “I don’t know man it is a weird night.”  I just thought myself there has to be something in the air.

This is why I will be scared to get married, because I see and hear so much stuff from married women that it makes me think twice.  If they behave like this when their married, I can only imagine how they were when they were single.  Stay tuned tommorrow for "What Happened?: Rock a Bye Baby"

Follow me on Twitter @pmbrent38

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Fuzzy Hippo

1 ¼ oz Hypnotiq

½ oz Peach Schnapps

½ oz Vodka

1 oz Orange Juice

Sprite

Combine ingredients in a shaker, shake and strain over ice. Top with sprite.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Something in the Air."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: I've Fallen

Meredith here was out partying with friends and left the group to visit the ladies room.  As much as Meredith had to drink you would think one of her friends would have accompanied her.  But instead she embarked on this journey on her own.  As a result she never quite made it inside the stall but fell a little short (literally).  She tried to phone a friend but everyone besides Meredith left their phones in the car.  So the only person available to help her was the stranger who took the picture.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Fuzzy Hippo."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Silicone Valley

I’m sometimes amazed at the things I see while working.  Peoples behaviors, actions, and the things they say and talk about.  Some of this stuff you would never imagine men or women would say or do.  This story involves actions by a woman and her friend.

                We’ll call this woman Stacy, Stacy attended the establishment with her boyfriend and a female friend.  They came later in the night so they didn’t have much time to get “liquored up.”  So they started off by taking shots and ordered a few liquor drinks.  Stacy was enjoying herself and the company of her friends, there were a lot of people there that night so I understood that it was kind of hot.  I said that because Stacy did something I guess to reduce her body temperature (how it would help I still haven’t figured out).  I’ve seen woman take off their heels and try and walk around barefoot which is dangerous (broken glass, dirty floors, etc.), but rarely have I seen a woman do what Stacy did in public.

                So Stacy decides to whip off her bra (you know the bra through the sleeve trick) and walk around “free breastin.” I guess they were getting sweaty or something and she needed to let them breathe.  Her friend took the bra and tried to wear it and said, “I don’t have nearly enough to fill this thing.” I couldn’t help but laugh.  So then I looked at Stacy like “what are you doing?” and she said, “I don’t need the support anyway because their fake.”  Once again I couldn’t help but laugh.  So the boyfriend took the bra and wore it on his head like Mickey Mouse ears or something.   Stacy eventually stowed the bra away in her purse and continued to “free breast.”

                I understand dressing in layers and removing them as needed, but you should make sure that the removal of layers is appropriate.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: I’ve Fallen.”

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: 57 Chevy

¼ oz Vodka

¼ oz Rum

¼ oz Amaretto

¼ oz Southern Comfort

¼ oz Grand Marnier

1 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Orange Juice

Combine ingredients in a shaker, shake and strain over ice. 

Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Silicone Valley."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Naked Mile

Suzy here runs the Naked Mile every year since it’s inception.  It starts with a social event, a picnic and barbeque where all the attendees eat and drink to prepare themselves for the evening.  At ten o’clock sharp the clothes come off and the race begins.  Well Suzy here ran the race and was exhausted, so instead of catching a cab or having a friend take her home, she decided to crash on one of the picnic tables (she could have at least cleared it off first).  Her friends went out looking for her the next day and this is where they found her.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: 57 Chevy."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Head Banger

Often times stories come from things that I don’t see but hear from other co-workers and witness the aftermath.  This story is one that I didn’t see personally but saw the after effects.

On this particular night I had served this couple for the majority of the night and they seemed like normal people out to have a good time.  But once alcohol gets involved everyone’s mannerism change.  As the night progressed and the liquor started to settle, they increased their PDA (public display of affection).  They were tonguing each other down and grabbing things that shouldn’t be in public.  Well, I guess things got too heated for them because they decided to take it to the next level.

I’m not sure how it occurred on a busy night, but the guy snuck into the women’s bathroom with his female companion.  This was a dumb idea especially since the guy was like 6’4” towering over the women’s stalls, so naturally another patron reported this to our security.  The bouncer walks in to the bathroom taps the guy on his head and says, “He man you can’t be in here.”  The guy replies, “Not now bro, not now.”  I’m sure you’re dying to know what was going on in that stall, right?  Well here it is, the guy was getting head from the girl while she was on the toilet!  I guess she was a good multi-tasker, personally I think she should have chose one or the other.  Even after security told him he had to leave she kept going, so management had to get involved, he unlocked the stall, and kicked them both out.  Here is the funny part, when he opened the stall she still had her panties around her ankles and he was zipping up his pants and they both tried to deny it.  Talk about being caught “red handed” (or wet handed in her case).

I understand that people like to be “adventurous” but you should do so in the privacy in your own home or at least at a place that’s high traffic.  Stay tuned on tomorrow for “What Happened?: Naked Mile.”

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: (Flaming) Dr. Pepper

1 ½ oz Amaretto Liqueur

½ oz Bacardi 151 rum

12 oz Domestic Beer

Combine amaretto and pour the 151 last into a single shot glass, pour beer in a separate glass filled about half way.  Drop shot into beer and consume immediately.  To make it flaming, light the shot and drop into beer (Caution: make sure fire is extinguished before consuming).  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Up Chuck

Up Chuck

Well it seems a lot of my stories involve people throwing up and the events that happen afterwards. I mind as well continue this tradition and tell another like story.

This story involves four guys from England.  They were visiting the states on vacation or something and attended my bar for a good time.  They mostly drank beer and as the night progressed they evolved to shots.  Three of the four guys were fine and able to hold their liquor (at least it seemed) and the fourth one I should have been more careful with.  Towards the end of the night he had an “I’m ok but if I take another shot I may be done for” look on his face.  Noticing this I was hesitant about serving him any further.  I stepped away from the bar for a second and the group ordered a round of shots from the other bartender (I should have warned him before I left).  By the time I got back they all had shots in hand and ready to take them.  What happened next almost caused “me” to vomit.

So after they took their shots I helped another guest and not even five minutes later the other bartender says to me, “I’m not going back down there, you have a mess to clean up.” Dumbfounded I walked back down there to investigate what he was referring to.  You remember the guy that looked suspect?  Yeah him, this SOB had the nerve to throw up all over the bar top!  I mean it was covered, it was so bad that it made it to the other side on to the beer cooler.  You better believe he was escorted out “immediately.”  That’s one thing I can’t stand it’s one thing to vomit in a trash can, toilet, bushes, etc. it’s another to vomit on the bar top where peoples drinks and hands have to touch.  That stuff carries diseases and all kinds of other disgusting things.  I absolutely refused to touch or come close to it, thank goodness we have door people who clean up that sort of thing.  It must’ve taken the guy thirty minutes to clean and sanitize the area, and after he cleaned it I sprayed it again with more sanitizer (just in case).

Your body will tell when you have had enough all you have to do is listen and not over indulge in alcohol.  It’s embarrassing to vomit in public and isn’t fun for your friends who have to carry you home.   I hate to sound cliché but drink responsibly and be safe.

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Sour Apple Martini

1 ¼ oz Vodka

¾ oz Sour Apple Pucker

Splash of Sour Mix

Chill a martini glass, combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker, shake and strain into the martini glass. Garnish with a cherry.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Up Chuck."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened:? Grill Master

So Jim and his friends decided to get away from their wives for the weekend.  For the trip they decided to go camping for some male bonding time.  Well after a long night of drinking and story telling the gentlemen got hungry.  They put Jim here in charge of the grill (you can see how that went), and after awhile and no word from Jim they went to check on him.  As a result of Jims overindulgence they found him like this with the meat burnt on the grill and everyone pissed off because that was all the meat (guess they’ll have to do Cajun style).

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Sour Apple Martini."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Married With Children

I sometimes question the reasons why people get married. Nowadays it seems as if people are getting married for all the wrong reasons.  Whether it’s because of wealth, a child, high school sweethearts, or anything other than true love.  This story involves a woman who is married and has child who acts as if she is still single.

We’ll call this woman Mary, Mary is a regular at this establishment who often attends with her fellow teachers.  They come have a few beverages and enjoy the evening away from school, husbands, and kids.  On every visit prior to this one Mary had a good time and didn’t do anything out of her normal character.  I guess Mary had a few more than she normally does so she was a little more “open” (for lack of better words).  Anytime Mary visits the establishment she will find me to at least say hi and she sometimes orders her first drink from me as well.  She didn’t order her first drink from me but did get another later on that evening which is when things started to get interesting.

After I made her beverage and gave it to her, as with most women she had her money in her bra (safe keeping I guess).  Well in the process of retrieving her money I guess she figured this was an opportune moment to flash me her breast and afterwards she said, “That was for you…”  At the time the only reaction I could come up with was “Nice!”  In the back of my mind I was thinking, “Why did this married woman just flash me?  What would her husband think if he saw that?”  But this was only the beginning for Mary unfortunately it gets a lot worse.

The same weekend there was a national convention and a lot of the patrons stopped in to unwind after a long day of conferencing.  Well one particular gentleman was hanging out at the bar I was working and about 6’5” tall.  Well a few drinks later Mary came back to order another beverage from me and the tall guy happened to be there as well.  What I witnessed next I would never have imagined.  The tall guy was whispering in her ear and I could see how he was motioning his face to go in for a kiss, Mary would move her face and gently smile and this went on for a few minutes.  I guess she got tired of fighting because all of sudden they were making out! (tongue and all)  I could not believe this, as if this wasn’t bad enough they paused and went back at it again.  I know some of you are thinking maybe it was her husband, not at all this guy I had never seen before and he was wearing a badge from the conference (and if it was her husband she wouldn’t have been trying to resist).  So here Mary was a married woman flashing the bartender earlier and now making out with a stranger.  If her husband ever caught wind of this I’m sure there would be trust issues afterwards.

I understand that people have to get away from their families and let their hair down, but keep in mind that you’re married and don’t do things that will jeopardize your marriage.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: Grill Master.”

These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: B-52

½ oz Kahlua

½ oz Baileys Irish Crème

½ oz Grand Marnier

Layer ingredients as listed and serve.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: Bathroom Betty

So Betty was a gymnastics athlete and was having a slumber party with her girlfriends.  Well Betty had one too many and tried to make it to bathroom.  She was successful in making it there but slipped because the previous guy that used it had bad aim.  Betty’s prior gymnastics experience allowed her to manipulate her body in the position she’s in.  On top of being too intoxicated to stand, Betty decided that it was best to hang out on the toilet just in case…

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: B-52."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Help Yourself

Some of the things that people do are crazy, some are dangerous, and others are just downright retarded.  Well this story involves the latter, a guy who does something that I would never imagine someone would do.

                This guy isn’t worthy to give him a false name, because he practically walked in the establishment and maybe 15 minutes tops was escorted out.  So let me tell you why.  The bartender was busy at the time and in the midst of the commotion she sat the bottle of alcohol in the peanut rail (the area where drinks are made).  I will call this a “rookie” mistake because she just started working there and hadn’t been bartending long prior to this event.

                So this is where the retardedness (yes I said retardedness) comes in.  The bartender turned her back to ring up a drink or make another one while the bottle was still in the peanut rail.  This guy decided to take it upon himself to pour more liquor in his drink.  I guess she didn’t make it strong enough for him.  I saw this and couldn’t believe my eyes because I have never seen someone do such a stupid thing.  I ran and grabbed the bottle from him, took the drink, and had him escorted out for stupidity.  Meanwhile asked the bartender what she was thinking by leaving the bottle on the bar top like that.

                I understand that alcohol makes people do crazy things, but keep in mind, if you wouldn’t do it while you’re a guest at someone’s house it’s probably not a good idea to do it in public.  Stay tuned tomorrow for “What Happened?: Bathroom Betty”

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Liquid Cocaine

½ oz Jagermeister

½ oz Rumpleminz

½ oz Bacardi 151 rum

Shake and strain.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Help Yourself."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/ 

Dancing Queen

This shift started like any other shift, popping bottles and mixing drinks.  My establishment plays music, so as the night progresses and the alcohol starts to settle people dance more often.  Well this story involves a woman and her dancing attempts.

This particular night I was working at the end of the bar where the entrance was located.  Normally this isn’t a problem but it would prove to be a problem on this night.  This woman we’ll call her Sue (those of you that have read Real Life Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde will understand).  Sue was having a good time with her friends and dancing amongst them.  For some reason Sue thought it was a good idea to invite me to dance with her even thought she clearly saw that I was working.   I politely declined and continued what I was doing.

On one occasion I excused myself to attend the restroom, well on my way back Sue stepped in front of me and started dancing.  I was thinking to myself “Really?”  I politely declined again and proceeded back behind the bar.  I don’t think Sue takes rejection to well because her next action surprised me.  So here is the reason why me working at the end of the bar where the entrance was located was important.  As I mentioned before I don’t think Sue takes rejection to well, because she decided to graciously come behind the bar and dance on me.  I saw someone out the corner of my eye but I didn’t think someone would have the nerve to come behind the bar.  I asked her what she was doing and stated that she couldn’t be back there in a firm and stern voice.  She kind of pouted and went back to dancing with her friends.

Sometimes I really don’t understand what goes on in peoples head, I’m not sure if I really want to know actually.  To those who don’t take rejection well, it’s ok to be told no because it may be one step closer to a yes but it’s not the end of the world.  So take it in stride and move on.

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child. If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Mind Eraser

1 ¼ oz Vodka

¾ Kahlua

Shake strain, add a splash of soda water, add a few ice cubes, take shot through a straw.   Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Dancing Queen."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: X-Games

So the kid in the blue jacket had one too many Three Wise Men shots.  Unfortunate for him he also plans to try out for next years X-Games competition.  His mentor is the the guy next to him with the Charlie Brownish sweater on.  You can tell he used to practice BMX back in his day because of his missing front teeth.  Well the mentor suggested the guy try his new kick flip to grind trick "after" they had been drinking.  He said, "If you can land it drunk then you can definitely land it sober." Thinking it was a good idea the kid tried it and failed miserably as you can see.  He lost a shoe and wrapped himself around the picnic table.  His mentor thought it was the funniest thing ever and decided to capture the moment and drink to his demise.

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Mind Eraser."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Home Wrecker

This story involves a woman who we will call Jane.  Jane has three kids and at the time of this story was unemployed.  Jane was visiting my establishment to get away from her kids and her “situation.”

I forgot to mention that Jane was recently divorced and her ex-husband took everything leaving her with pretty much nothing.  This provides the recipe for a scorned woman.  So Jane was at the bar and decided to tell me her story.  She looked sad as if she was about to cry and out of concern I asked what was wrong.  She was also carrying a bridal magazine (I’ll get to the importance of it later).  Jane had been able to survive unemployed because this guy she was talking to/dating was providing for her and the kids.  The catch is the guy was married and she was the “mistress.”

Somehow the wife found out about Jane and confronted her while she was working.  This instance caused a big scene at her job (hence the reason she was unemployed).  As a result the guy left his wife and decided to be with Jane.  Six months later the husband had a change of heart and decided to try and work things out with his wife.  Once again Jane was left to fend for herself (another ingredient for the recipe).  Here’s where the bridal magazine comes into play.  In that short period of time I guess talk of getting married had arisen.  That day she visited my establishment she was out looking for wedding gowns and such.  Also in that day the married guy decided to break things off with Jane (sounds like a soap opera right?)  So now Jane was drinking her sorrows away and trying to figure out her next move.  Because he provided for her, gave her money, etc. now she was back to square one.

If you decide to get involved with a married person, keep in mind that 1. Adultery is illegal in some states and charges can be pressed and 2. Imagine if you were on the other end of the stick and it was your husband/wife cheating on you.  Stay tuned tomorrow for "What Happened?: X-Games."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Three Wise Men

3/4 oz Jack Daniels
3/4 oz Jim Beam
3/4 oz Johnny Walker Black

Shake and strain ingredients. Can be consumed as a drink or as a shot.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Home Wrecker."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: World Cup

This guy was a soccer phenom from childhood.  He won all kinds of trophies and awards for his ability.  His latest (the one on his head) was from winning a college title.  To celebrate he decided to get drunk with his teammates.  I guess you can see why he's passed out, from all the beers that he consumed.  As a result of his over consumption, his teammates decided to decorate him with all his trophies and empty beer cans.  If that wasn't enough, they decided to leave him a engraved note (the brown plaque on his chest).  It reads, "The Don't Do List" 1. Don't, drink too much
2. Don't, hog the ball again during a title game
3. Don't, party foul and pass out on the couch
4. Don't, move to fast or all your trophies will fall and break
5. Don't, call for help
I don't think tylenol is going to help the hangover he will have the next morining.  My question is, how does someone stay passed out while all of this stuff is being piled on his body?

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Three Wise Men."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Yummy Man

It never ceases to amaze me that people say some of the craziest things when they’re intoxicated.  I will provide a disclaimer that this story contains somewhat vulgar language, it’s because I’m quoting exactly what this particular woman said.  On that note this story involves an older woman and her lady friend.  I had seen these women before and their faces looked familiar. 

Towards the end of the night they came to me for some shots.  I forget what exactly they ordered, it was probably a woo woo or something girly like that.  Her friend hesitated a little while before taking her shot, and the lady said, “Stop being a pussy and take the shot.”  I was like wow that’s pretty direct.  She then turned to a couple of guys that were standing nearby and asked them, “Is she a pussy for babying her shot?”  The guys had the same look of disbelief as I did.  Her friend finally took the shot and the lady out of nowhere starts screaming, “Yummy yummy in my tummy!” and then says “I bet you would be yummy in my tummy too…”  My mouth dropped and her friend must have noticed my reaction because she quickly said, “Please excuse her, she gets crazy when she’s drinking.” 

Shortly afterwards she says, “Oh I would rip your clothes off” and just made all kinds of obscene sexual remarks.  At first I was taken back but after while I just decided to laugh it off because this woman apparently had no idea of what she was saying.  I think her favorite word must be “pussy” because everyone she ran into she would randomly call them a pussy whether she knew them or not.  But here is the kicker, this woman was married for 12 years! I could not believe this when her friend told me, I would be really upset if my wife of twelve years was in public acting this way.  I understand sometimes you have to let your hair down, but sometimes you need to keep a little pinned up in the back.

If you decide to go out and have a nice evening with friends, be conscious of what you say because you may offend someone unintentionally.

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Starry Night

1 oz Jagermeister
3/4 oz Goldshlager

Shake and strain ingredients. Side Note: Shake goldschlager bottle to ensure gold flakes are included in mixture.  Stay tuned on Friday for a story called "Yummy Man."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

What Happened?: National Title

So after her team won the National Title she decided to go out and party with her friends. She left her car at the stadium parking lot and walked to the local pub (responsible drinker).  After many beers (even one she didn't finish) she decided to go back to her car and sleep "in" it instead of driving (responsible drinker).  The only problem was she couldn't get her keys to work.  So she decided to sleep "on" her car.  Well she probably could have slept "in" her car if she tried the keys on the right car (hers is the green one next to it).  Meanwhile the guy in the black shirt is wondering why some random chick is sleeping on his car. 

This story is merely my interpretation of "What Happened?" Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Starry Night."  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/
This photo was posted/captured from http://www.wpix.com/

Company Ink (Part 3)

In the first two installments to this story I share the reasons and provide examples of why I shy away from dating people that I work with.  If you haven’t read those stories before please do so.  This is the third (probably not final) reason why I stay away from dating people from work.

If you remember from “Company Ink (Part 2)” Mark and Susan broke up and they went on their marry ways.  This story involves two new people, we’ll call them Larry and Becky.  Once again names are important because things could get confusing otherwise.  So now Larry and Becky are dating, hanging out, being “involved,” or whatever you want to call it.  Larry was in his late 20’s and Becky hadn’t turned 20 yet (the makings of a disaster).  These two do their thing for a few months and all of a sudden Becky breaks it off.  She brings parting gifts and what not and I had to deal with a sad Larry all night.  Meanwhile a few days or weeks later they were back “together.”

So here is one of the kickers, Mark and Becky used to date when Becky first started working there.  Of course when Mark and Susan started dating Becky still had some lingering feelings and did little things to let Mark know that she was still “interested.”  But anyway, Larry planned a vacation for himself and Becky.  He talked about it, was excited, and ready to get away for awhile.  After Mark and Susan broke up, Becky started acting a little funny towards Larry (I’ll tell you later why).  She was back to the whole “I don’t want to continue whatever this is…thing.”  Meanwhile the vacation was quickly approaching.  So the week before the vacation, Becky decides to back out on Larry and not go.  The worst part is the vacation was fully paid for (well one of the worst parts).

Ok so here is the biggest kicker.  The reason why Becky backed out on the trip and was acting funny was because her and Mark were back talking!  Unbelievable, weeks after his break up with Susan he’s back talking to his ex.  Talk about sloppy seconds…As a result of all this, one employee quit her job and now there is an uneasy tension between Larry and Mark (personally I blame Becky).  If anyone has comments about this fiasco I would love to hear them or even if you have a “Company Ink” story of your own I would love to hear about it.

I am a person who tries to live a drama free life, having to deal with drama like this at home and work is just too stressful.  Dealing with it at home is bad enough.  Sometimes you have to pick your battles and battles should not be fought at your place of employment.  Also starting tomorrow, I have found pictures of drunken people and will post the picture and write a story of what I “think” happened (it’s going to be hilarious) so stay tuned and be on the lookout for those.  I will call these stories "What Happened?"

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Cheerwine

3/4 oz Southern Comfort
3/4 oz Amaretto Liqueur
1/2 oz Grenadine

Shake ingredients and strain, top with a splash of Coke.

Stay tuned on Friday for "Company Ink (Part 3)" things are going to get interesting.

Company Ink (Part 2)

In the first installment to this story I share a reason why I shy away from dating people that I work with.  If you haven’t read that story before please do so.  This is a second reason why I stay away from dating people from work, the more I see the more it confirms.

This story involves two people, we’ll call them Mark and Susan.  Names are important because things could get confusing when I tell you the third reason why I don’t date people from work (Company Ink (Part 3)).  Mark and Susan worked together for a while and one particular summer they went on a vacation together.  Everyone kind of questioned this and they eventually told us they were dating.  They dated for about six months and it came time for Susan to move into a new apartment.  To easier afford the apartment Susan and Mark decided to move in together (bad idea).  I asked Susan what would happen if they broke up? She replied, “Well we would work it out I guess…”  I already knew moving in with someone that you just started dating was an extremely bad idea and was a disaster waiting to happen. 

A few months passed (maybe 6) and lo and behold they broke up.  As with their initial relationship they tried to keep it on the hush (which is respectable) I wouldn’t want everyone in my business either.  But when you bring it to work, it’s kind of hard to keep things a secret.  So the question that I asked Susan earlier had to be addressed.  As it turned out, they tried to live together afterwards and I guess that didn’t work out to well.  Because Mark moved out and Susan decided to sub-lease the apartment.  As a result, Susan quit her job and moved back to her hometown.

If you are dating someone at least wait a year or two before you decide to move in with them.  Because things change and you see a different side of a person once you’re living with them.  Stay tuned on Monday for the "Recipe of the Week: Cheerwine."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Don't Do It

This story is an explanation of why you should not over drink.  I have witnessed some strange, interesting, and some downright stupid behaviors of people after they’re intoxicated.  This story is about a couple of those behaviors.

On one particular night after I got off, I was heading to my car and noticed a woman stumbling towards a closed business.  I thought it was rather strange so I paused for a moment to see what she was up to (bad idea).  There was a potted tree near the entrance of the door, this woman was wearing a skirt and decided to pull her underwear down and urinate next to the tree.  I don’t think she got started because she fell down while attempting to crouch.  A security officer noticed the same actions and stated that she couldn’t do that there.  The sad part is I think she either fell asleep or blacked out during the process.

On another occasion similar to the first I was in the parking deck heading to my car again.  I noticed a woman sitting at the base of a support column.  She was apparently crying because her makeup was running down her face.  What made this scene even stranger was below her.  If you have ever poured water down a slope or witnessed something similar you understand what that looks like.  Well picture the same thing but underneath this woman.  I was looking trying to understand why there was a puddle of water running down the parking deck and the reason was because it came from the woman.  She was so intoxicated that she urinated on herself and just sat in it and watched it run down the deck.  I asked if she was ok and she nodded in agreement, I made it to my car and informed one of the attendants of her location.

It is one thing do drink, be social, and have a good time with friends.  It’s another thing to drink until you can’t control your bodily functions.  Behaviors like this just are not safe and can possibly get you in trouble.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called "Company Ink (Part 2)."

           These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.  If you're interested in becoming a bartender or want to learn more about bartending visit ubguide.bartenderseries.com/

Recipe of the Week: Washington Apple

3/4 oz Crown Royal
3/4 oz Sour Apple Pucker
1/2 oz Cranberry Juice
 Splash of grenadine (optional)

Shake ingredients over ice and strain.  Can be served as a shot or drink.

Land of Opportunity

One thing I enjoy about my job is meeting new people.  Over the years I have meet thousands of people from different backgrounds, races, income levels, personalities, etc.  This story involves a Spanish girl from Mexico who came to America to better her and her families’ lives.

We’ll call this Spanish girl Maria, she was born in Mexico and lived in California until her family moved to Miami.  (Side Note)  One TV show that I sometimes watch is Border Wars, it’s a show about border patrol and the things the encounter on a daily basis.  This includes gun smuggling, people trafficking, drug smuggling, and preventing immigrants from entering the country illegally.  Listening to Maria’s story just made me wonder why the people on TV don’t take the same “legal” route she did.

Maria applied for her residency and it was granted, she has lived in the U.S for ten years now and able to apply for her citizenship.  She has an EMT (emergency medical technician) certification and was looking for a position in a fire department.  There wasn’t availability in Miami so she applied in the city I reside and got a call back.  She was in town to take the fire departments test and hopefully get the job.  I admired her determination and drive to do things the right way and better her career.  When she got here, she figured out our bus system to get exactly where she needed to be.  Hopefully she will pass the test with flying colors so she may advance her career. 

The U.S is the land of opportunity, people have to utilize the systems in place and make the best of them as Maria did.  If you want something bad enough, sometimes you have to go after it and don’t stop until you reach your goal.  Stay tuned on Monday for the “Recipe of the Week: Washington Apple”

            These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.

My Bad

               The one thing that my establishment has a low tolerance for is people getting sick and vomiting.  If a person gets sick, after they relieve themselves they are asked to leave.  This story involves one such occasion and how I was responsible for it.

                I have received a lot of weird request before, but the latest one I have to admit was a good one.  A woman approached the bar and asked for a shot of something to get rid of smokers’ breath.  She didn’t ask for gum, mint, or anything else that could cure the problem.  Instead she asked for a flavored shot to do the trick.  Immediately I thought of peppermint, and one of the strongest peppermint flavored alcohols is Rumpleminze.  So I served two shots for her and a friend (who was male) this point will be important later.

                It was funny because they made the “it burned going down” face and stated that I was wrong for my selection.  I guess I could have chosen Goldschlager for the cinnamon flavor, but I figured they needed something that was a little more potent.

                So here is why the fact that the friend was male is relevant.  A few moments after the two consumed their shots I went to the restroom.  When I got in there I heard someone vomiting and I was like that doesn’t sound good.  Unfortunately a member of the security staff came in as well during his relief.  So this meant even though he made it to the restroom he had to vacate the premises.  I was washing my hands when he finally made it out and guess who it was?  Yes, the Rumpleminze shot guy.  He just took the shot and a few minutes later he was vomiting.  They security guy said, “I’m sorry but you have to leave.”  Shot guy said, “I’m fine I’m not drunk the shot just made me sick.”  Meanwhile I’m standing right there while all of this is taking place, and I felt so bad because I was the one who served it to him.  All I could do was apologize.

                I went back to work not expecting to see him again and a few minutes later he was back at the bar with his lady friend.  I guess the security guy had a change of heart and decided to let him stay.  However, his lady friend was mad because she just spent almost $20.00 on the shots and he just vomited.  The funny part is she was giving him a hard time about how he was punk and couldn’t hold his liquor and she was a female still sober and fine.  Being a jokester I couldn’t help but put my two cents worth in about his tolerance.  It turned out to be a good night for them and I’m sure he won’t drink Rumpleminze again.

                It’s a good chance that some of the shots I made were responsible for people getting sick and having to leave, but it hits home when I know definitely that someone I just served got sick.  That’s one thing that I’m not proud of as a Bartender.  Even though I joked around with them after the fact, I would’ve felt bad if he had to leave.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a story called “Land of Opportunity.”

               These stories are real accounts, so if you plan to drink and have a good time do so responsibly. Remember to call a cab or a friend because the cost of a DWI is way more than a $20 cab ride home. Also, if you plan or happen to take someone home use protection. For two reasons, one there are many STD’s floating out there and it only takes one to ruin your life or that of others. The second reason is because a $3 condom is less expensive then 18 years of raising a child.